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School Zone Jokes

Why cant Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone...

Because he's dead

I was driving by a sign that said "SLOW - School Zone" when it hit me...

A child to be exact.

There's so much controversy surrounding school zones

I swear, I see a sign saying "end school zone" in every single one.

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Cum leaves the body at almost 30 miles per hour, which means it is illegal to ejaculate in a school zone.

I don't think the speed was why I was arrested though.

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The average male ejaculation occurs at 28 Miles per hour

Which makes it illegal in school zones

People always tell blondes blonde jokes but I enjoyed this one

A blonde was speeding in a school zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, ...

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School

With the average velocity of an ejaculation being 28mph, it is too fast for a school zone.

I don't think that's why I got arrested outside the school though.

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Say what you will against pedophiles, but at least...

they drive slowly in school zones.

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Why do sex offenders never get speeding tickets?

Because they always drive slower in school zones

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The average speed of ejaculate leaving your body is 45 km/hr.

So *that's* why I got arrested in that school zone!

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What's the one good thing about a pedophile?

They drive slow through school zones.

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Thoughts from 25-35 year olds

~Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.~

~I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.~

~I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.~

~I hate leaving my ho...

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A guy is driving with his wife a few towns away from home when out of

nowhere a cop pulls him over for speeding. The cop says, "do you know why I pulled you over?'' The guy's wife says ''What'd he say?'' "HE SAID, DID I KNOW WHY HE PULLED ME OVER." Then the cop says "you were going 45 in a school zone." "What'd he say?" "HE SAYS I WAS SPEEDING." Then the cop says, "li...

Say what you want about Epstein...

But he *always* obeyed the speed limits in school zones.

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When ejaculating semen shoots out at around 30mph

Maybe thats why the cops got so pissed at me for jerking off in a school zone.

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A bartender is closing down his bar

A bartender is closing down his bar at the end of the evening. Three men remain hunched over at the bar. Each has been there the whole night and has been drinking heavily, but none of them seem to have the strength or desire to strike up a conversation.

As the bartender cleans the last few g...

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Did you know that a male ejaculates at 27mph?

That's why I always get in trouble when I do it in school zones.

I got arrested today

I got arrest today, apparently you aren't allowed to do doughnuts within 200ft of a school zone... the frosting worked as great lubricant though

Did you know you can tell what kind of area you're driving in by the bumps in the road?

A few big bumps means you should probably slow down.

Lots of little bumps means you're in a school zone.

How do we know Milo Yiannopoulos isn't a libertarian?

Libertarians don't drive slow in school zones.

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You have to give it to pedophiles

They're the only ones who follow the speed limit in school zones

I only have this...

A guy is driving a new Corvette at 100 mph on a school zone, when suddenly he crashes against an old lady. He gets out of the car and sees the woman is dead.

The police arrives, and the policeman questions the guy:

"I need to see your license"

"I-I don't have one, sir"

"...

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