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Ringo Jokes

I called Apple Records in England because I wanted to talk to Ringo.

The recording told me to press the “star key.”

Did you know that Ringo Starr (drummer for The Beatles) had two daughters?

He named them, Anna One, Anna Two.

what do you call John, Paul and George without Ringo?

The Beatless

What would The Beatles have been called if Ringo never joined?

The Beatless

Why won't hipsters listen to the Beatles until Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney die?

Because they only want to listen to the Beatles when they're underground

(Taken from Cyanide and Happiness comics)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People keep talking shit about Ringo Starr's drumming.

But let's be honest: at his time in The Beatles, he certainly was in the drumming Top 4 of The Beatles!

Paul: "So lads, any idea how we're gonna end 'Hey Jude'"?

John: Nah.

George: Nah.

Ringo: Nah.

I'm starting an asphalt company on Abbey Road

It'll be called Ringo's Tar

The Beatles are sitting around a table in a diner...

And all of them are happily sat there with their arms around their wives, all except for poor old Ringo.

“Guys? I’m really getting the blues being all lonely here. How do you suggest going about getting a woman?” He asks, drumming his fingers on the table.

John is the first to speak up...

Biologists say Beetles have 6 legs.

They forgot about Ringo.

Which Beatle wanted to make it big as an entrepreneur?

Ringo Startup

I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles.

All he got was a stupid street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

a flea goes into a travel agency...

a flea goes into a travel agency and says, “oh i’ve been working so hard for the last few years, i really need a holiday.”

travel agent asks, “what kinda holiday were you in the market for?”

flea says, “i want to go somewhere bright and sunny, somewhere that i can just relax and enjoy ...

A mailman is baffled at how to mail a letter addressed "to the greatest drummer in the world."

So what is he supposed to do? He's gotta send it. He hoofs it back to the post office, and shows it to his boss. The boss says, "come on man, send it to Chick Webb." So he does.

Chick Webb, the bandleader from Baltimore, sees the letter on his kitchen table and says, "Jesus! That can't be for...

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