Reich Jokes - 54 Hilarious Reich Jokes

What do you call a blind Third Reich member?

A Not-see

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The third Reich

Why was Hitler’s Thousand Year Reich going to be the last one?

Because everyone knows three Reichs and your out.

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A Jew is riding in a streetcar in Germany during the early days of the Third Reich.

He is reading reading a Nazi newspaper, the Volkische Beobachter. A non-Jewish acquaintance sits down next to him and says, "Why on earth are you reading that garbage? It’s so virulently anti-Semitic!” “Look, friend," says the Jew, "I get up early and work hard in a factory all day. When I get home,...

A man goes before Saint Peter...

Saint Peter asks 'Where were you born?'
The man thinks for a moment and says 'Austria-Hungary, Lemberg.'
'Where did you go to school?'
'Poland, Lwow.'
'Where were you married?'
'The Ukrainian S.S.R., Lviv.'
Surprised, Saint Peter asks 'Where was your first child born?' ...

The soviet soldier asked the german how to get to Berlin

Soviet soldier:how do i go to Berlin ?
German: two hundred meters later take the third Reich.

(it was my first english joke ever probably it gonna be the last one sorry for my broken english)

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I have a highly collectible wristwatch from the Third Reich...

It's a Swatch-ticker

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If the Nazis had won WWII and set up the Thousand Year Reich, what would they have called their leader?

*The Kaiser Permanente*

"How'd the book burning go last night?"

"It was all Reich"

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So I set up an internet page for Chinese Nazis...

So far it's gotten three Reichs on Facebook

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Did you know that Hitler was in dire need of a pedicure while he was leader of the third reich?

He was a toe-talon-aryan

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why did Hitler lose the war?

Three Reichs and you're out.

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Why was Hitler late for work?

He tried driving a new route to work, but instead of taking the second left, he took the third reich.

I was talking to a girl about the establishment of the 4th Reich when a girl told me that I was being politically incorrect

Apparently the proper term is "European Union"

Germany can't start another war

Because three Reichs and you're out.

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Hitler is chairing a Nazi economic meeting.

The Reich’s Commerce Minister is delivering a tremendously boring report on minerals, and Hitler is about to nod off. “We are mining too many ores that are useless to the war effort. We need to mine less,” the minister says.

The Reich’s Chief Engineer, who is a stickler for grammar, is irrita...

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My grandpa always told us the story about how he made a dozen German troops shit themselves in WWII.

He was probably the worst cook the Reich had.

I'll take this down if people want me to. I don't know where else to post this, so I figured here is ok. How do you get to Germany?

You go straight down the road and take the 3rd Reich.

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What happens when a furry takes over nazi germany?

The Furred reich

Did you hear about the Chinese brother's that tried to start a German Empire?

Turns out two Wongs don't make a Reich.

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What's one reason you should not join the Nazi party?

It is just nazi reich thing to do! ^^^^Also, ^^^^fuck ^^^^nazis

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I posted an Asian Neo-Nazi post on facebook.

It's already got 50 reichs

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Why did the NAZI fail drivers ED?

He succeeded on two left turns but failed on the third reich

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What did Hitlers psychiatrist say about him?

There's something not reich with him.

Two rights don't make a wrong...

The third Reich makes it wrong.

You know Germans are never wrong,

They're always Reich

An Austrian, an Artist, and a Fascist walk into a bar

It went all Reich

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What did the umpire say to Hitler when he failed at baseball?

THREE REICHS, YOURE OUT!

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When did coach Hitler bench a player?

After the third st-reich.

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I setup a Facebook group for Chinese Nazi's.

So far it's got three Reich's.

I just watched Extra Credits' new video

His argument was a Reich

Macron said the rebuild of Notre Dame will take 2 Years and he will get the Germans to do it

Because they finished a thousand year Reich in just twelve years.

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How does one pass a Nazi test?

By giving all the Reich answers.

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Why was Hitler Destined to fail?

*3 Reichs and you're out*

Why doesn’t the German Government play baseball?

Because it’s 3 Reich’s and you’re out.

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Ever hear the one about the Nazi hipster?

He sort of preferred the second Reich.

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How do you get to the Nazi parade ?

First you take the 4th left and then you take the Third Reich.

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Hitler wasn't EVIL...

...In his mind, he was doing it for all the Reich reasons.

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Never ask a Nazi for directions

They'll always say the Third Reich is the best way to go

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Why did Stalin ally himself with Hitler?

He thought they had the same political leanings. After all, three reichs should make a left.

What do you call a German empire with lots of hair?

The Furred Reich

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Hitler is speaking to his advisers...

He was surrounded by all of the lead managers and advisers of his entire Reich. His main adviser told him how amazing and efficient Germany was.

"All of ze industries are over performing and creating enough resources for ze new world. Except perhaps ze mining industry, sir. Zey are performin...

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Where is Hitler's bathroom?

Down ze hall on ze Third Reich!

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What do you call Hitler's bachelor party?

The Reich-stag!

Someone asked me where the Angel of Death is

"Go down the hall, Third door on your Reich"

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Hitler's dad wrote a sitcom after the war....

He called it "3rd Reich from the Son"

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What did the Nazi boy say to his sweetheart?

I reich you.

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Apparently nazis have a skewed knowledge of world history

Ask any of them how ww2 went and they say it was all reich.

Why did the German cross the road?

To get to the Reich side

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What's the difference between someone who doesn't use their turn signal and Hitler?

You know Hitler will turn Reich.

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What did Hitler say when his driver missed the turn

"Hey I said take the third reich!"

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What's Hitler's favorite music genre?

Reich and Roll

What's the difference between Biggie Smalls and Charlie Chaplin?

One rocks the mic, while the other mocks the reich.

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Did you hear about the scarf that Eva Braun knitted for Hitler?

He said it was kampfy and that he reiched it a lot, but that it could have used fuhrer stitches.

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So I'm trying to start a new Nazi group...

But it's hard to get people to leave the already established groups, they’re built up, they have community there, then I have it. Weed. We’re going to be the weed Nazis, I get a sponsorship from a local skinhead dispensary, I set up a space, but there’s one problem, I only have 2 water pipes, for t...

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