UPJOKE
demonstrationdirect actioncivil resistanceactivistanarchistriotrioternonviolentpublic opinioninsurgencyprotest permitcounter-protestdemonstratormarchercampaigner

A Jewish mother walks by a planned parenthood and sees a protestor who’s sign says “life begins at conception”

She goes up to the man and says “that may be true of Christian babies, but a Jewish fetus isn’t viable until it graduates medical school!”
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Why did Bill Barr gas protestors?

So the chicken could cross the road
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How many idiots does it take to arrest a protestor?

Apparently more than the entire Russian Riot Police combined, because they got the bicycle but the rider still got away.
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A protestor walks into a bar

Or so the police claim.
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Some protestors are breaking into congress

I hear it is a capitol offense
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What to blm protestors and cod players have In common?

They both hate people who use riot shields
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What did the chinese say to hk protestor? Any guesses?

tank you!
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How many cops does it take to tackle a 120 pound female protestor?

All of them
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What do you call a protestor whose ancestors grew weed?

A grass roots activist
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You what's the best thing about being an Antifa protestor?

You never have to take off work to go to a protest
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A protestor wearing a Black Lives Matter t-shirt walks into a bar

The bartender asks what will you have. The protestor replies only “ice”. The bartender looks at him with a very confused look and says “sorry did you say you only wanted ice?” The protester says that’s right - just ice.
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What do protestors and people with big noses have in common?

They both know how to picket.
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Why did the protestors start throwing bread?

Because they wanted to rye it.
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What's the difference between Hong Kong Protestors and Redditors?

Protestors do not tolerate censorship.
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A protestor saw me in London today and decided to throw a squeezy bottle of mayo at me...

... I yelled at him "What the Hell-Man!!!"
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A buddy and I went out to grab some dinner, figured the protestors in Ottawa would be ecstatic we were exercising our freedom.

Turns out they were quite unhappy with the man-date.
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People make a big deal about calling them protestors or rioters.

But really it's just some antics.
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How many protestors does it take to change a light bulb?

Trick question... Protestors don't change shit.

The Hong Kong protestors are not really accepting of the police’s new message.

Apparently some have even taken it to heart.
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Ferguson Protestors looted a Payless Shoe store last night...

Cleaned the place out, nothing left but work boots...
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A little British boy raises his hand to ask his teacher a question

"Miss, My mother says freedom is the most beautiful thing in the world. What does freedom mean?"

The teacher seeing the importance of this question for the sweet, innocent child, thinks quickly about how best to respond.

She smiles sweetly and says "Why don't you come up and tell the c...
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Did you hear about the protestors killing the circus?

They went straight for the juggler.
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I heard on the radio that protestors in Beijing are demanding authentic democratic reforms.

Unfortunately, all they can get is cheap Chinese knockoffs.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2020 Holiday Album

We're getting ahead of the curve and releasing this year's 2020 Holiday Album including such hits as:

1- Baby It's Covid Outside

2- Walking In A Pandemic Wonderland

3- Grandma Got Ran Over By A Protestor

4- Karen, Did You Know

5- Zoom Christmas

6- Frosty The...

I know many people have been appalled by reopen protestors risking public health for questionable reasoning. But, just remember 2-3% of em’ will be dead in the next few months anyway....

....not from Coronavirus but from fireworks accidents and ATV rollovers
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Ugly scenes

Ugly scenes in centre of Leicester this evening

An 'anti Trump' protestor threw a traffic cone, narrowly missing US President by 5802 miles
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It's summer 2022

The war has ended as Putin saw all celebrities singing "Imagine" and he promptly got his troops back to Russia. The first tourist arriving at Kyiv Airport and visiting the capital city under reconstruction. When they exit the airport, the first thing they see is a statue of the fallen soldiers, the ...
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"I'm here reporting at an anti-coronavirus protest today..."

"The protestors are holding signs ridiculing the lockdown, saying it's "just mass panic." There are also some doctors here today. They're holding signs as well."

"What do the signs say?"

"I can't tell. I can't read their handwriting."
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Two tradesman set up for road work: one a veteran and the other a literalist rookie.

“You just stand there by the ‘end road work’ work sign and direct folks through the orange cones”, says the veteran.

“But I’m not sure I can do that, that’s a big responsibility to carry for a lot of people”.

“Sure you can, it’s a simple job, they’ll get the message”.

After the ...
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Introducing: The Karen Infection Collection toy line!

*Wheeze with laughter through your ventilator as you watch your children make short-term memories with... The Karen Infection Collection!*

*They'll love spending their last days playing with their new favorite toys, like Protestor Pete - who comes with accessories like a vial of crocodile tea...

You know the signs that say "End road work"?

Have you ever seen the protestors​ that put them up?
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Charles ran a successful fur business in early 20th century New York.

He was always humane about the treatment of his animals before they were killed and made sure the rest of the animal didn't go to waste. However, rather than making a massive profit, he'd often donate warm fur clothes to poorer children. He lived comfortably, but always tried to maintain his philant...
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So a Bartender, a Priest, and an Anti-Lockdown protester walk into a bar... [LONG]

Ok, not a bar, because the bars are all closed. But I digress. So they walk into... I dunno, Wal-Mart, Whatever. Turns out all three know each other and start talking about the lockdown and how it has been affecting them.

The Bartender started by lamenting the loss of their income and social ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chocolate company was making chocolates shaped like a woman's ass.

Some "upstanding citizens" demanded that they discontinue the product, as they claimed it was lewd and disrespectful. They staged a large, loud protest outside the factory.

This upset another group of citizens, who thought the company should make what they like, and the protestors should min...

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