UPJOKE
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Pokemon Jokes

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What did the Pokemon say after having too much sex.

Vulva Sore.

The doctor's office blocked my number after I kept calling about Pokemon.

I don't know what the hell they're taking about, but I really need someone to take a look at this bulbous sore I have.

Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app...

called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area.

A Pokemon go user walks into a bar

Because he was too busy looking at his phone to notice it

Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit? (WARNING POKEMON JOKE)

Because swift never misses.

In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types.

But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.

If Novak Djokovic was a Pokemon, what would be his evolution line?

Novak -> Novax -> Novisa

What’s a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.

I've lost all my pokemon cards in a house fire...

I've only got Ash now.

I'm on medication for my Pokemon Go addiction.

Gotacachemol.

Them: you can't keep making pokemon jokes!

Me: Wynaut

What do police officers and pokemon have in common?

attacking the enemy until they’re weak then trying to catch them.

My wife said she wanted to name our child Eevee because she thought it would be cool to name it after a Pokemon

I said 'ditto'

What is the difference between Pokemon Go and Tinder

On Pokemon Go you swipe up to try and capture fake characters in a virtual world. On Tinder, you swipe right.

What do you call a Pokemon in the Andes?

Machu Pikachu

Which Pokemon in-game item should you never give to your Trans friends?

And Ether. It restores pp...

Earlier I had to go to the Pokemon Center

For my Koffing turned into Weezing.

My favorite pokemon joke

What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say.

What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer?

Ash.

Why should you NEVER use the bathroom when you are around Pokemon?

They might Pikachu

My wife hates me because I make too many Pokemon puns

She's just Shellos

What do Pokemon Go and Tinder have in common?

Both give you a good chance of catching something

What's an Italian's favorite Pokemon?

Smattachu

I was plying Pokemon GO in the park the other day

The craze of Pokemon GO may well have died off for most people but I still love it and play all the time.


I was in my local park the other day when my absolute favourite Pokemon appeared!
It was over by a group of girls so i tried to contain my excitement so I didn't draw attentio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a vegan cake out of Pokemon

It was butterfree

A Pokemon trainer goes to see a doctor

She is worried about a substantial, painful growth on one of her fingers, but the doctor tells her it's not a big deal: "It's actually quite common for a Pokemon trainer to have a bulbous sore on their hands."

Why didn't the pokemon listen to classical music?

Because he was lycanroc.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a porn star’s favorite pokemon?

Squirtle.

STDs are a lot like Pokemon...

It's hard to catch them all, but once you do, the game is pretty much over.

Why shouldn't you let your pokemon into the bathroom while you shower?

So they don't Pikachu.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what pokemon would Hitler be?

Gastly

Heard a guy whispering Pokemon jokes to his friend

But I couldn't catch em all

What do you get if you trip over a Pokemon?

A bulbous sore

What does a Pokemon say when it gets a cold?

Pik-achoo

How do they play Pokemon Go in Gaza Strip?

They grab a round rock from the ground and say: "Pick-a-jew"!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife is like Pokemon

Soon as I throw out my balls she runs off.

What do ICE and Pokemon have in common?

Gotta catch 'em all!

What are Mathew McConauheys favorite pokemon?

Rhydon... Rrydon... Rryddoooonn!

Dj Khaled is like a Pokemon

All he does is shout his name

I heard Pokemon can get drunk too.

They just Electabuzz.

Why do perverts love Pokemon?

Because they can catch a Pikachu.

Nintendo just announced they're changing Pokemon Sword & Shield to Pokemon Circle & Oval

After Game Freak decided to cut every corner.

Why are Pokemon considered manly in Peru?

It all dates back to the time of Macho-Pikachu

What will happen when Pokemon GO Is updated with Johto Pokemon?

It will become Pokemon GOld

How do you know if a Pokemon likes you?

They’ll take a peek at chu

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was hitlers favourite pokemon?

Kickajew

Why should you never shower while playing Pokemon?

The Pokemon Peekachu

I can't find a single Ekans here in Ireland with Pokemon Go.

Thanks, St Patrick

I tried to go into a restaurant playing Pokemon go.

I couldn't get in though. The servers were too busy.

Hey girl, are we playing Pokemon Go?

Because I just got a peek achu. ;-)

Where do baby Pokemon come from?

Pokeballs

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes?

They let bagons be bagons

A friend of mine confessed his fetish for Flying type pokemon

It was really hard to swellow.

STDS are like Pokemon

My dad gave me the best ones when I was 12

What’s the Pokemon Sableye’s birth sign?

Gem-in-eye

If Black Panther was a Pokemon, Ash would ask him...

Wakanda Pokemon are you?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a sexually abusive Pokemon?

# MewToo

So, Pokemon "Sword and Shield" came out today

The Sword is for cutting Pokemon from the game and the Shield is for defending against criticism

Which Pokemon was appointed to head the department of agriculture?

Chard czar

What is the best part of Pokemon Go?

I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.

A Grass-Type Pokemon walks in a doctor's office

"Doc, my bulb is sore"

Which Pokemon will never give you up?

A Rick Gastly!

Hey jokers, it's my first post here.

[OC] What's Matthew Mcconaughey's favourite Pokemon?

_Rhydon rhydon rydon_

What did the father pokemon say to his son?

Look at me when I speakachu

Who's the dankest pokemon?

Vaporeon

What do Donald Trump and Pokemon have in common?

The only thing they can say are their name and random bullsh**.

You know why you should never trust Russian Pokemon?

Fake Mews.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If my girlfriend was a Pokemon her name would be......

Vulva-sore

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dildos are like Pokemon cards...

No matter how good your collection, it isn't worth anything if you got them sticky.

One thing I know is that a computer science major didn't name the original pokemon.

Otherwise, charmander would evolve into stringmander.

What did Meowth say when he found out that people have been reposting the same joke with different pokemon?

>!Meowth . . . !<

Why couldn't the pokemon trainer catch Mewtwo?

He didn't have the balls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is Paula Deens Least Favorite Pokemon?

Butterfree

How Pokemon go came to be

Customers: "Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?"

Niantic: "147 Pokemon? You want to have 145 Pokemon?! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon?!"

What do you call it when you have too many pokemon in a tree?

Pika Pika BOOM BOOM!

Whats a Drummers favorite Pokemon?

Rattata

What do you get when you cross a pokemon with a hedgehog

Regrets

I was told insence would help me catch Pokemon

But no matter how many times I make out with my sister, I'm still not getting any Pokemon

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