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Picker Jokes

Here's a joke for the lock pickers

A key that opens any lock is a master key but a lock that opens with any key is a masterlock

What do prize winning competitive mushroom pickers eat in the morning?

Breakfast of Champignons

Don’t call me a “trash picker” …

I prefer to be called a *discardiologist*.

Did you know Ronnie Pickering invented the giraffe?

He got into an argument with a horse and uppercutted it

What did the cherry picker say to his hostage?

Never gonna giiiive you up.
Never gonna let you dooown.

Man, I hate it when the date picker for my birthday on a website starts with the current date.

Do they think that I was born yesterday?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Back in the late 1800's when bananas first started gaining popularity in the United States, banana groves weren't the safest of places. There were monkeys pooping all over, porcupines, venomous spiders and snakes in the groves. This caused problems not just for the pickers, but for consumers as well

Anyway Americans started demanding that their bananas be inspected before being imported, so the banana companies started placing stickers on bunches of bananas to indicate they were safe to eat. Of course the banana companies were still cutting corners. The groves still had monkeys, porcupines, sna...

What do toddlers and plastic surgeons have in common?

They're both nose pickers.

What do u get when u cross a mexican with a octopus?

Best damn apple picker you've ever seen.

I named my high-speed magic carpet Bounty.

It’s a quilted, quicker picker-upper.

What is the Jolly Green Giant most afraid of?

Avocado pickers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is there cotton in pill bottles?

To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers.

Condoms galore

Nike Condoms: Just do it.


Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.


Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.


Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.


Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.


Flintstones Vitamins Condom Pack: T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your last day on Earth is supposed to be your worst...

... And St. Peter decides who gets into Heaven based on how shitty their last day's been. Well, there's 3 guys and the first guy arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks, "Why's your day been so terrible?"

And the guy replies, "Well, my wife's been actin funny for a few months now. She ...

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