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Phone App Jokes

My new phone app...

I meant to download a calendar app for my phone, by my eyesight is so bad I downloaded a colander app... now my battery just keeps draining.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My roommate was going out on a blind date so I told her about this phone app for her own safety.

I said: "It's called *Mum! Are you OK?* and what is does is, it puts a button on your display which you can press and then a couple of minutes later your phone will ring and the display will say MUM. So if you get there and your date looks a bit creepy you just touch the button, put your phone away,...

Girlfriends are like phone apps

They come with in-app purchases, and need the reassurance of updates to function well.

A woman, tired of being alone, posts a personal ad

In the ad, she says she's looking for a man who won't beat her, won't walk out on her, and can please her in bed.

A few days later, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and is surprised to find a man on her doorstep with no arms or legs. "I'm here about the personal ad," the man says casual...

Someone should make a phone app that connects to your bank account and only lists restaurant you can afford

Could call it Welp

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