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What is worst - Alzheimers or Parkinsons?

Alzheimers. Because its better to spill your beer than forget where you put it.

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What do you call a cow with Parkinsons?

Beef Jerky

I just had to tell one of my patients that he has parkinsons

He seemed very shaken up.

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Bob is getting older and his kids decided to put him in an assisted living facility.

Bob at first was reluctant to go there. Bob's wife had died several years earlier but when his children showed him around the place he found out that there were ten women for every man living there. Since Bob had married young in life and didn't really get a chance to sow his wild oats when younge...

What do you get from a cow with parkinsons

Milk shakes

My Grandpa has Parkinsons

He's not able to do much but he beats me at every game of Hungry Hungry Hippos

Girls with parkinsons must really love giving handjobs

They just can’t stop

What do you call a Bakery run by a person with Parkinsons

A Shake’n’Bake

What do you call an Arab man with Parkinsons?

Sheik.

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Sex at the old age home

Don Carlos is 90 years old and lives in an old age retirement nursing home.
Every night after dinner, he secludes himself at the far-end of the garden.
One night, Juanita, 80 years old, approaches him. They start chatting about life and old age, and after a while, he says to her,

"You k...

Friends..

Looking at my lifestyle, God asked me if I wanted Alzheimers or Parkinsons.

I approached me friends with this conundrum.

They said "Take both, it would be funny to watch you look at your pants and not know if you spilt your drink or peed your pants".

How do you walk a perfect straight line during the next 7.2 magnitude earthquake?

Develop Parkinsons.

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A old man meets an old woman in a care home...

They get off to a good start and they started to talk he learned she was called Maria and they talked about their past and their experiences and eventually they get to the subject of Sex. The old man says "I can't get an erection anymore, I need a woman to help me do it" Maria volunteered to help hi...

Two elderly men in a bar...

...one pipes up and asks his mate
"as we get older would you prefer Parkinsons or Alzheimers?"

Second man replies "Parkinsons, it will be bad enough spilling half my pint, never mind forgetting where I left it!"

THE CHOICE

GOD APPEARED BEFORE AN IRISHMAN AND SAID, 'FOR YOUR DEVOTION, I WILL GIVE YOU A CHOICE BETWEEN PARKINSONS OR ALZHEIMERS FOR YOUR ELDERLY AFFLICTION.'

THE IRISHMAN SAID,; THATS EASY. PARKINSONS.'

'WHY IS IT EASY?' GOD ASKED

'I'D RATHER SPILL HALF A GLASS OF WHISKEY THAN FORGET WH...

A old man's children visit him at the same time by car.

His children are parking their vehicles.


The man has parkinsons.

Rustom was asked by God...

"If you had to choose one, would you pick
- Parkinsons or Alzheimers?"

Rustom thought for a minute,
then chose Parkinsons.

"Why did you choose that?", asked God.

"It's better to spill half a glass of whiskey,
than to forget where the bottles are kept."

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In an old age home...

90 year old Sean : I miss Sex life so much.
75 year old Tina:

How can I help?

Sean : I'd feel good if you could just hold my di*k.

So Tina held his di*k, and they kept talking all night.

This continued every night for two weeks.

Then one day Tina saw Sean w...

The boys got hired at their dad's valet business.

Now he has parkinsons.

A couple in an old people’s home we’re having an argument, Margaret found out Egbert had been cheating. Egbert did love a handjob.

Margaret said to Egbert ‘What does Dorothy have that I don’t?
Egbert replied ‘Parkinsons’.

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What disease do you have if you're great at making cocktails, but terrible at stealing tambourines?

Parkinsons

What disorder will Spiderman get as he ages?

Peter Parkinsons

*Extremely Offensive* If you ever feel stressed just know that someone...somewhere...

...has parkinsons and is currently going through their crush's Instagram history

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