UPJOKE
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Auditory Jokes

For school, I had to write a report about how the human eye works

So I asked my dad if he knew any facts about the human eye. After a moment of thought, he responded:

"The human auditory range is 20 to 20,000 Hz".

Confused, I asked: "What does that have to do with the eye, dad?"

"Nothing," he replied. "It's ear-relevant."

I keep hearing my accountant's disembodied voice wanting to check the last 5 years of my tax returns.

I think I'm having auditory hallucinations.

I hate when you open up to someone and they leave.

I was explaining to my psychiatrist that I am having visual and auditory hallucinations, and then he just vanished.

US President calls for a meeting with press.

He steps up to the tribune:

\- Friends, fellow citizens, today i have to inform you that i've made the decision to shoot down every member of the Congress, Senate and House of Representatives, and also paint the White House green.

After a long pause single hand rises from auditory:
...

An elderly woman goes to the doctor

When the doctor asks her inside, she starts:

"Doctor, please help me. I am plagued by terrible flatulence. Gladly, my farts are silent and don't smell. However, I couldn't help to fart four our five times even since I entered your office."

The doctor has a thoughtful expression on her ...

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