UPJOKE
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Auditory Jokes

I keep hearing my accountant's disembodied voice wanting to check the last 5 years of my tax returns.

I think I'm having auditory hallucinations.

An elderly woman goes to the doctor

When the doctor asks her inside, she starts:

"Doctor, please help me. I am plagued by terrible flatulence. Gladly, my farts are silent and don't smell. However, I couldn't help to fart four our five times even since I entered your office."

The doctor has a thoughtful expression on her ...

US President calls for a meeting with press.

He steps up to the tribune:

\- Friends, fellow citizens, today i have to inform you that i've made the decision to shoot down every member of the Congress, Senate and House of Representatives, and also paint the White House green.

After a long pause single hand rises from auditory:
...

I hate when you open up to someone and they leave.

I was explaining to my psychiatrist that I am having visual and auditory hallucinations, and then he just vanished.

I am having trouble sleeping. My head keeps on playing sounds of a luxurious car.

I think I am having Auditory hallucinations.

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