Nut Allergy Jokes - 14 Hilarious Nut Allergy Jokes

What's the worst thing about having a nut allergy?

Every month is No Nut November!

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TIL most females have a nut allergy.

You nut in them and they could swell for 9 months.

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I’m sad to report I have a bad nut allergy

Every time I eat one, I let out a little cashew

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How did the school bullies kill a kid with a nut allergy?

They would always pecan him.

Father's Day weekend Dad joke.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does throat hurt after giving a blowjob?

Nut allergy.

Snake bite

Did you hear about the Australian guy who had a snake come out of the toilet and bite his sack? The guy was OK but the snake died...it had a nut allergy.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend came out with a...

... nasty rash where I ejaculated on her.

Apparently she has a nut allergy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My doctor says I’m not allowed to have sex anymore

Apparently I have a nut allergy :/

I was pretty sure i had nut allergy when i was kid

But my parents thought i was making it up to avoid church

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My friend told me this one

A man was telling his girlfriends father about a surprise date he wanted to take the mans daughter on, and he wanted to know if there was anything he should be careful of.

The father said “All I can think of right now is her nut allergy”

The man replied “A nut allergy? Well there goes ...

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Who will survive no nut november the longest?

The people with a severe nut allergy

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After yet another allergy surfaced, I decided to divorce my wife -

Most of her allergies where tolerable, but her nut allergy ruined our sex life.

Did you hear about the psychologist who's career was ruined by a medical condition?

She had a nut allergy

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nutty Joke

I made this up while playing around at work, but I'm sure it's already been come up with at some point; however I would like to submit this joke:

Ask someone, "do you participate in No Nuts November?" They will either smile, look confused, or both. Then tell them that it's a peanut allergy aw...

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