UPJOKE
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My wife got onto me the other day, claiming I spent too much time moistening food while cooking!

Thinking the accusation was ridiculous, I asked:

"Baste on what?"

She said: Your meat.

Boy wrote in a letter to his girlfriend: “I kiss the flap of every envelope that comes from you, for I know your lips must have moistened it”

Girlfriend wrote back : “ oh honey, good that you told me. I’ll stop moistening them with the dog’s wet nose from now on!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Michael and his wife had been married for thirty five years and things were, let's say, a little cold in the bedroom. One day while out shopping he decided to look for a little outside stimulation.

He dropped his wife off at her favorite store and went across the street to the knock shop. He swaggers up to the madam and asks her "what kind of a fuck can a fellow get for fifty bucks?"

She snorts derisively and says "you're not going to get much for fifty bucks. All our girls start at two...

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