UPJOKE
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My wife got onto me the other day, claiming I spent too much time moistening food while cooking!

Thinking the accusation was ridiculous, I asked:

"Baste on what?"

She said: Your meat.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A man and his wife get into bed for the night.

A man and his wife get into bed for the night. The wife curls up and closes her eyes, ready for sleep. The husband puts on his bed lamp, to read a book. As he reads, he reaches over and fondles his wifeโ€™s pussy for a minute or two. The wife rolls over with a smile and starts taking off her nightgown...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Michael and his wife had been married for thirty five years and things were, let's say, a little cold in the bedroom. One day while out shopping he decided to look for a little outside stimulation.

He dropped his wife off at her favorite store and went across the street to the knock shop. He swaggers up to the madam and asks her "what kind of a fuck can a fellow get for fifty bucks?"

She snorts derisively and says "you're not going to get much for fifty bucks. All our girls start at two...

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