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Melania Trump Jokes

Melania Trump's Speech

Sorry guys this one's a repost

What did Melania Trump say to her speech writer?

Thanks, Obama.

Why doesn't Melania Trump want her husband to become President?

She doesn't want to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

Donald Trump is the next President but...

The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.

How are Kobe Bryant and Melania Trump similar?

They both made fortunes just by playing with orange balls.

Melania Trump goes to see a wizard...

and asks him to lift a curse that a priest put on her many years ago. The wizard says he can help her, but he needs to know the exact words of the curse.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," she says.

All these people are so quick to criticize Melania Trump for wanting to take on cyber bullying when that's something her husband has a problem with

But no one criticized Laura Bush for wanting to teach kids how to read

During a quiet moment at a White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a parrot for his birthday. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say more than two hundred words!"

“Wow, that’s impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words. He doesn't really understand what they all mean.”

"Oh, I know"...

Why did Melania Trump leave Donald?

Because he couldn’t get an insurrection

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't people give Melania Trump a break...

Life is hard enough growing up as a black woman in the USA.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does Melania Trump do after she shaves her pussy?

She powders his cheeks and sends him off to play golf!

What's the similarity between America and Melania Trump?

They're both getting screwed by Donald Trump and neither one of them is happy about it.

I came up with this last night, but it might be a repost.

Melania Trump greeted the White House Christmas Tree.

First natural wood she's seen in years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a recent interview, Melania Trump was asked if she bleaches her asshole

Her response: "No, he gets spray-tanned."

What's the difference between a gemologist and Melania Trump?

A gemologist knows what hard feels like.

Melania Trump's Speech:

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run...

What's the difference between Melania Trump and America?

Donald is screwing America.

Melania Trumps RNC speech just leaked on live TV

It was read aloud by Michelle Obama.

Obvious media bias

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

What does Melania Trump and a paleontologist have in common?

Both are experts in dating fossils.

What's the difference between Melania Trump and the FBI?

The FBI is still coming for President Trump.

(Fixed the typo...)

Melania Trump and this sub are the same

Both like to copy stuff and say them again

To all the haters out there, I think Melania Trump's speech hit all the right keys.

Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V

Why can’t Melania Trump feel her ass?

He’s away campaigning.

Why does Melania Trump love the Christmas season?

Because there’s no orange in cider.

Melania Trump immigrated to America in 1996

And after her speech I now see why Donald says that "all immigrants are thieves"

What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list?

A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a Redditor, Marilyn Monroe, Melania Trump, and Lee Harvey Oswald?

One's a jerk who jacks off, one jerked off Jack, one jacks off a jerk, and one's a jerk who offed Jack .

What did Melania Trump say after being stopped by an officer?

License and registration, please.

Great 1st Ladies of the United States have there own cause. Michelle Obama’s: Your Truth, Melania Trump’s: Be Best...

Jackie Kennedy’s: Take your shot

Trump dies and goes to hell.

When he arrives, he is greeted by the devil.

The devil says that there are 3 other people here that have done less bad than Trump, so Trump gets to decide which one goes to heaven so he can take their place.

The devil opens 3 doors, the first door has Richard Nixon in it. Nixon is swim...

immigrants are often doing work, which no one else wants to do

for example Melania Trump

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

-Wayne Gretzky

-Michael Scott

-Melania Trump

I wake up every day in a house built by slaves

-Melania Trump, 2020

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Allison was bragging to her boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of her, boasting, her boss called her bluff, "OK, Allison, how about Reese Witherspoon?"

"No dramas boss, Reese and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Allison and her boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Reese Witherspoon's door, and Reese Witherspoo shouts,

"Allison! W...

"With great power, comes great responsibility"

- - Melania Trump

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