Pope Francis Jokes - 21 Hilarious Pope Francis Jokes

Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.

They find three parachutes.

Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, “The world needs a great person like me!”

Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane.

At this point, the Po...

Pope Francis dies and goes to Heaven

An Archangel awaits him. The Archangel asks who he is:

The Pope: "I am the Pope."

Archangel: "Who? THere's no such name in my book."

The Pope: "I'm the representative of GOd on Earth."

Archangel: "Does God have a representative? He didn't t...

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My favorite joke: Everyone Knows Dave

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"

"No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Da...

pope francis

One day pope Francis dies and comes to the Pearly Gates. God himself is picking him up and guides him to his very own cloud. God leaves.

Francis has his own harp and uses his time to praise the lord. After some hours god shows up again carrying a silver tray with a yogurt on it and a spoon. T...

Pope Francis knocks on heaven's gate

Pope Francis knocks on heaven's gate after his death. Saint Peter opens the door, looks at him and says: "Welcome to live after death. What is your name?" The pope is slightly irritated and answers: "I am the pope." "Pope who?", Peter asks. "Pope Francis, you should know who I am!" the pope says, a ...

What do Jeffrey Epstein and Pope Francis have in common?

Not killing themselves.

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Pope Francis came to visit the US…

He was to address the UN in the morning, and give mass at Madison Square Garden later that day. After the UN address, the pope was given a chauffeur driven limo to get to MSG in time for the mass. Leaving the UN, he ran into New York City bumper-to-bumper traffic, and was stuck with the time for m...

TIL: Pope Francis wears underwear while taking a shower.

He doesn’t want to look down on the unemployed.

Pope Francis gets a new car.

He's in Chicago for an appearance. His regular car is obviously not there and due to some mixup all they have is a huge SUV.

When Francis sees this beast he thinks for a second. "Hey, I've been kind of curious about these things. Do you mind if I drive?"

What are you supposed to say...

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Pope Francis and a Boy Scout are all on a plane that is about to crash...

They quickly realize there are only four parachutes and one of them is going to die.

Barack Obama says "I am the leader of the free world and commander in chief. I also have two daughters that need me. I must survive!" He takes a parachute and he jumps out of the plane.

Donald Trump s...

What do you call an avocado thats been blessed by Pope Francis?

Holy Guacamole.

Pope Francis has cancelled the Easter events this year due to COVID-19.

I guess he’s just gonna Passover it this year.

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On his recent trip to Israel, Pope Francis went to Mount Olive.

When he found out, Popeye was pissed and kicked his ass.

Since assuming the title in 2013, Pope Francis has visited more than 27 countries.

I guess he really is a roamin' Catholic.

The chairman of Perdue Chicken goes to the Vatican to meet the pope.

Jim Perdue, CEO of Perdue Chicken, goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. He says "Pope Francis, it is an honor to meet you. As you know, I am a devoted Catholic, and I'm bringing a generous donation today - 2 million dollars - and in return I simply ask you hear a proposal."

Pope Francis sa...

Every time a new Pope is elected...

...there are a lot of rituals in accordance with tradition. Well, there is one tradition that very few people know about. Shortly after the new Pope is enthroned, the Chief Rabbi seeks an audience. He is shown into the Pope's presence, whereupon he presents the Pope with a silver tray bearing a velv...

John Boehner is lucky Pope Francis didn't splash any holy water on him.

He wouldn't have been crying. He would have burst into flames.

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So the Pope visits Queen Elizabeth II and she says

"Watch Francis! With a wave of my hand I can make every loyal subject go completly hysterical." So she waves her hand and every loyal subject goes completly apeshit.

Then Pope Francis tells her "Well Elizabeth with a wave of my hand, I can give every Irishman and Scotsman eternal joy." To whi...

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Bill knows everyone

I met a man the other day named Bill the other day, and after introductions, he said, "I am glad to finally meet you. Now I officially know everybody on the planet."

"What?" I asked, "There is no way you can possibly know everyone on the Earth."

"It's true," he said, "You are the last...

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The new pope visits a small church.

Upon hearing the news that the new pope would be visiting his small parish Father O'Leary decided to something special for the dinner. The morning of Pope Francis' arrival he went down to the docks and found a young member of his congregation and said, "I would like to help honor the new pope by con...

My friend Larry says he knows everyone...

During President Obama’s inauguration, Larry told me, "You know, Obama and I are buddies." said, "Sure you are." He said, "No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me." Sure enough, I turned on the TV that night, and there was Larry, talking to President Obama w...

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