UPJOKE
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A cop pulled over a guy for reckless meandering driving

The cop walked up to the driver window and asked - "how high are you?"

The guy replied - "No officer, it's 'Hi, how're you?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A friend sent me this. I like a long, meandering joke with a bit of a groaner at the end.

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.
The barman looks at him and says,
"Hang on! You're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you can talk!" exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working too." says the duck.
"Now if you ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

of cats and mustard

Three diplomats are discussing international politics while enjoying brunch in the crisp spring air.

"No more can Middle East be made peaceful", says the Russian diplomat, "than can cat be made to eat mustard."

"But a cat would certainly eat mustard." says the German diplomat. Spying a...

A Zebra dies and goes to heaven.

He's greeted by Saint Pete at the Pearly Gates

"Hello Zebra, welcome to heaven!" Says Peter.

"Oh wow", exclaims the Zebra.

"Yes, it's quite magnificent" , replies Peter, "as is the custom here, if you had any unanswered questions about your life, now is the time to ask them."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Meanwhile, in a different part of the Jingle....

...a lizard is walking along when he smells marijuana smoke. Having a good sense of smell, and not a stranger to the occasional toke, he follows it to the source and comes to the base of a truly mighty tree. High up in the branches is a monkey smoking a joint.

"Hey monkey" he yells.

T...

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