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Married Couples Jokes

It’s normal for married couples to fight.

The trick is for you and your spouse to find a couple you can easily beat up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style

The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Brazzers pornstars and married couples have in common?

They both sign sexclusivity contracts

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A hapilly married couple

So there's a couple who's hapilly married for 5 years now but recently nothing's been going on in the bed and the girl is worried that her man is either cheating on her or is planning to divorce her until one day he comes home and says.
-Get undressed and go to the bedroom
The girl, confused b...

Guys I finally did that thing with my wife that only married couples can do!

We got our divorce!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three married couples want to join a church

There is a young newlywed couple, middle aged couple, and older couple. They talk to the priest, and he informs them that they have to remain abstinent for 2 months before they can join the church.

They all agree and return 2 months later to talk to the priest.

Priest asks the elderl...

I heard 2 older married couples talking when one of the men told the other he went to a great restaurant.

When he was asked what it was called he looked puzzled and said "what's that flower, the one people always give?"

"A rose?"

"Yes! Rose, that's it" he then looks at the woman beside him "hey Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?"

Two old married couples are driving to dinner. The two old wives are sitting in the back seat, the two old husbands sitting in the front seat.

Two old married couples are driving to dinner. The two old wives are sitting in the back seat, the two old husbands sitting in the front seat.

"Where are we going for dinner?" Frank asks Harry.

"I forget," Harry says. "It's, uh... it's... what's the name of the flower, the red one?"<...

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