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Lorena Jokes

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Lorena Bobbitt makes getaway

While leaving the scene of her infamous revenge, Lorena discovers that she is still gripping the disconnected member of that cheating ba***rd. She flings it out the car window into oncoming traffic.

Unfortunately it slaps against the windshield of a mom and young daughter.

Mom, !! Wh...

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Did you hear Lorena Bobbit died in a car accident?

Some dick cut her off.

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I heard Lorena Bobbit was involved in a road rage incident.

Apparently, some dick cut her off.

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Did you read in the paper about Lorena Bobbit getting badly injured in a car crash up in Boston?

Apparently some dick cut her off.

[NsFw] What was Lorena Bobbitt's favorite form of mischief?

Ding dong ditch.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt?

"Are you going to eat that?"

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Lorena Bobbit is in her car, escaping moments after cutting off her husbands penis

The penis is on the seat beside her. An old married couple is approaching in the opposite direction in their car. Finally, disgusted, Lorena flings the bloody penis out her window just as she’s passing the old couple. The dick hits their windshield, splatters and bounces off.
After a long pause ...

Why was Lorena Bobbitt found not guilty?

Because the evidence wouldn't stand up in court...

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A mother is driving her son to soccer practice behind Lorena Bobbitt, who flung her husband's severed penis out the window

The penis hit the mother's windshield, and her son yelled out "What was That???"

The mother said, "Nevermind, it was just a bug"

The son replied, "Did you see the pecker on that thing?!"

What did they call the documentary about Lorena Bobbit?

American Snipper

What was the difference between Lorena Bobbitt and Bob Barker?

Bob Barker was a slick pricer

I remember when I first heard what Lorena Bobbitt did to John Bobbitt...

It was Ridickless...

The Lorena Bobbitt documentary was very informative and well directed, my only criticism is that it was way too long

They should have cut half of it.

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It was the fateful day that Lorena Bobbitt threw her husband's severed member out her car window...

As it happens, there were two hippies in a van behind her on the highway. They both jumped when the Lorena's projectile smacked against their windshield.

"Holy shit, man!" said one hippie. "Did you see the size of that bug?!"

"Never mind that, man!" said the other hippie. "Did you s...

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The night Lorena Bobbit severed her husband's penis, she drove a distance then tossed the 'apendage' out of her car window, striking the windshield of a vehicle driving in the opposite direction.

"Christ! Did you see the size of that bug?" To which the passenger replied, "No, but damn, it had an enormous dick!"

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TIL Lorena Bobbitts sister also tried to cut off her husband's penis. She missed and hit a major artery, almost killing him.

She was charged with a misdeweiner.

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Lorena Bobbitt was driving down the road when she realized her husband’s penis was still in the passenger seat.

Upon realizing this, she tossed it out the window. Two stoners were in the car behind her when the penis hit their windshield and flew over the car. A few moments passed and then the passenger spoke up and said, “dude, did you see the dick on that bug?!?!”

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When Lorena Bobbitt famously cut off her husbands wiener and drove across town with it, she decided to throw it out the car window and when she did it hit the windshield of the car behind her with 2 old ladies in it, the driver said “what kind of bug was that!?” and the passenger said,..

“I don’t know but did you see the dick on that thing?!”

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One day a mother, father, and daughter are driving down the road in their car

but unbeknownst to them, they were driving behind Lorena Bobbitt.

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a mans severed penis smacks into the car’s windshield.

“What was that Daddy?!” asked the little girl from the back seat.

Not wanting to corrupt her young mind, the father answer...

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A man and his 5 year old son are driving in the truck.

Lorena Bobbitt is traveling in the opposite direction, and tosses her husbands severed penis out the window. The penis hits the windshield of the truck. The dad knew what had hit the windshield but wanted to protect his son from such a grizzly situation.

To cover for the situation he says, "O...

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… and he deserved it.

Hey, boys and girls, it’s Lee here with News from the Trenches, and as always, Ithank you all for subscribing to my podcast.

So I got some good news about my old pal, Barry! He finally dumped that gold digging witch he was dating!

For those of you just tuning in for the first time, B...

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It was just a bug..

A father is driving with his young daughter and unbeknownst to him, Lorena Bobbitt is driving in front of them after she had just cut off her husband's penis and is about to throw it into a field. It smacks and sticks against the father's windshield. After he realizes what it is, he quickly flips ...

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Celebrity Computer Viruses

Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.

Mike Tyson virus: Quits after one byte.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.<...

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