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Look Forward Jokes

If there's one thing Americans can look forward to when the pandemic ends

Is that the average IQ of the population will increase.

Every New Year's Eve, I look forward to a good show at Time's Square

...and year after year, they drop the ball

French Star Wars fans have something to look forward to every week....

Each Thursday is the Return of the Jeudi.

As a single guy, I always look forward to Ramadan.

This month, I have a date every night.

I always look forward to the holidays on Reddit

to see who wins the repost wars.

Whenever I'm down, I always look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.

I really hope it's a train this time.

I look forward to hearing Michelle Obama's speech again.

At the 2020 RNC.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer gets a letter

A humble farmer goes out to his mailbox, seeing that a letter has arrived.

"Dear Ronald J. Kse,

This year we have chosen you to be the host of this year's harvest reap! All you need to do is provide your humble farm as the place of the party, and we will all provide.

Thanks, you...

My wife told me that she couldn't turn her neck because it hurts so much, so I told her to look forward to a massage tonight...

...Since she can't look sideways anyways...

My Gramps just passed away. This was his favorite joke to tell.

*Sorry for the meta of this, I'm still reeling a little. I post two or three (or ten--sorry for breaking rules) jokes on this sub every day. A lot of them are simply awful, but they're all original, and my Gramps was a huge inspiration for me becoming a comedy "writer." But this is an old joke, and ...

After gaining weight, My husband bought me a dress 2 sizes below and says...

"I look forward to seeing you in it".

So for his birthday I bought him a coffin.

Two Swedish police officers are patrolling the Norwegian border.

It’s Friday afternoon and they’re in a good mood. They’re talking about how much they look forward to going home to their wives for a nice meal and some fun in bed. But suddenly they see a man who has hanged himself from a tree.

The first officer goes, *Damn it! Now we have to write a report ...

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside.

“Will I die?” she asks.

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She loo...

DC has announced an Arab superhero will be featured in their new film.

The world can look forward to seeing O-man.

Wife convinces husband to make a play list for when they're in the bedroom.

Wife: OK what's the first song you want?

Husband: Spiderbait - Black Betty.

Wife: I don't know that one. I look forward to hearing it. What's your next song?

Husband: The playlist doesn't have to be that long.

Harry & Hermione go to Hogsmeade

Since school had started back up in September, hogsmeade visits once again became something to look forward to.

There was the 2nd week of September and then, luckily, one on Hermione's Birthday, just in time to buy her something nice.

Things the next month were the same as usual; Harry...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Beautiful Potatoes

Mr and Mrs Potato Head have three beautiful daughters. One night, they're gathered around the dinner table when the eldest daughter speaks up.

"Mom, Dad, I have something to tell you... I'm getting married!"

Mrs Potato Head looks at her "This is such a surprise! Who is he?"

The ...

On the bright side...

We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady.

"Your ticket, please..."

A group of mathematicians and a group of engineers are traveling together by train to attend a conference on mathematical methods in engineering. Each engineer has a ticket whereas only one of the mathematicians has one. Of course, the engineers laugh at the unworldly mathematicians and look forward...

Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment.

We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed.

“Auntie, what’s diplomacy?”

“It’s how you tell someone to go to hell in a way that makes them look forward to the trip.”

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