UPJOKE
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I tried to make a LGBTQ+ joke

But nobody got it straight

Here comes my ban.......

What does LGBTQ stand for in 2020

Lets get back to quarantine, obviously




Stay safe everyone

People be LGBTQ+ and still be dressing bad

Like what were you doing in the Closet the whole time

Trump Supporters are demanding to join the LGBTQ+ community.

They say they identify as Non-Bidenary

How are LGBTQ folks like batteries?

Usually, they are not included.

A man walks into an LGBTQ centre.

He walks up to the front desk and introduces himself. "Hello, I identify as a chocolate bar. Can I join?"

The receptionist replies "Sir, that's disgraceful! You're mocking the community. We're going to have to ask you to leave."

"You can't call me sir!" The man exclaims. "I use her/she...

If you mess with lgbtq

The whole alphabet pulls up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Though he passed away decades ago, I really think my grandpa would have supported LGBTQ+ marriage in all of its forms.

His motto was "Fuck everyone.".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a colorblind person see the LGBTQ flag?

They see it in gayscale.

Where are LGBTQ vampires from?

TRANSylvania

Why did the T-Rex attack the LGBTQ parade?

It wanted to Taste the Rainbow.

What did Qatar get after spending billions of dollars to stop LGBTQ+ actions in FIFA 2022?

Half naked Argentinian Men Hugging and kissing each other in the end.

I was telling jokes at a bar filled with LGBTQ+ people

I was doing such a good job nobody could keep a straight face.

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

I keep asking what LGBTQ+ stands for

I never get a straight answer

So an LGBTQ group plan a meeting one day.

And the leader of the group asks: “What’s on the agenda?”

One of the group members stand up and say: “A top hat. Thanks for noticing!”

There's one problem about the LGBTQ community

None of them can think straight

I asked what LGBTQ means and I've been getting lots of answers but here lies the problem

I couldn't get a straight answer

What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane.

A biplane.

(This is not meant to be offensive)

What do you call an LGBTQ person who doesn’t take action?

A Bi-stander.

What happens when you put a lot of LGBT people in a long line?

You get a LGBTQ.

Not sure if you knew this, but if you rearrange the letters in LGBTQ...

Somebody will probably get offended...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One of the guys said he was going to bug him.

He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a real tosser.”

“Oh really, hmm, didn't know that.”

Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a tosser and he didn't care!"

"You just don't ...

I divided two types of the LGBTQ into two sections...

There was the trans-section, and the bi-section.

She told me, "I am LGBTQ"

I asked to go on a date, not the Among Us code.

A Farmer with a dog found a new activity group within LGBTQ community.

And BI NGO was it's name.

My LGBTQ+ programmer friend told me they were having trouble with some data inputs the other day...

I think it's because they're non-binary

My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support LGBTQ

That's a bit of a red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet flag.

Why are the Jedi LGBTQ+?

Because their enemies are the Cis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marge Simpson was one of TV’s first LGBTQ+ characters

She was animation’s first Homer-sexual

I found out the other day that my car is a big supporter of the LGBTQ community.

The mechanic even said it had a great trans mission.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In LGBTQ acronym, "Q" stands for "queer" or "questioning"...

It's the "Don't ask, can't tell" sexual orientation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only company to truly care about LGBTQ+ people after pride is PornHub...

...they have a whole section for them all year long

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As a bisexual individual, I think I have the coolest flag out of all of the others in the LGBTQ+ community.

But I guess I’m biased.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad told me this one.

"All this LGBTQ shit is getting out of control. It wasn't like this when I was a little girl."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a LGBTQ person participates in a drive-by shooting, is that a...

...fruity roll-up?

Being a member of the LGBTQ+ community is completely normal.

And I would never make a joke about such a straight thing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A interaction between me and my GF

GF: What are those lights lights called? not the LGBTQ lights but....

Me: You... mean RGB lights?

Gf: Yes!! yes, those ones.

Both: \*laughter\*

GF: Don't call them that hahahah

Me: Nonono they're LGBTQ lights from now on.

Me: Oh yeah my computer has LGBTQ li...

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A man walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar, sits down and asks the bartender for a drink.

“What’s the occasion?” Asked the bartender

The man replies “I just found out my oldest son is gay.”

Bartender apologizes, the man downs his drink and leaves.

Same man comes in the next day.

...

Spirit animal

What's the spirit animal of the LGBTQ community?


Eunuch-orns

LGBTQ?? How many letters are they going to add to it?

I mean seriously! You can't understand an acronym with that many letters in it. LMFAO!

I am the biggest supporter of the LGBTQ community you'll ever find

Let's go buy tacos & quesadillas anytime!

Hillary's team is really going all out to get the LGBTQ vote...

They've even convinced Huma to get rid of her Weiner.

The next LG phone needs to appeal to all audiences and be a plus size phone

We'll call it the LGbtq+

With some many streaming services it's difficult to pick between Disney+ and Hulu Plus

Personally, I prefer LGBTQ+

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just watched aggressive sex between a group of people that celebrate pride and individuality in 720p

It was HD LGBTQ BDSM

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