UPJOKE
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Trans Jokes

i have a lot of respect for trans women

that surgery takes balls!

What did the dad say when his son came out as trans

You're not my son anymore

Did you hear about the team of mutant trans-women super-heroes?

They're called "The Ex-Men".

Why did the trans man only eat salad?

Because he was a herbefore.

Why couldn't the trans person learn coding?

They are non-binary!

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They're enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

What did the trans man say after finally telling his parents about his surgeries?

“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”

You can't be trans and say that you're ugly

You're a customisable character

What do you call a fight between Trans people?

TRANSACTION

Bud light has always been trans...

It's water that identifies as beer.

How do you know if a trans man is ticklish?

You give him a couple test tickles.

Raising children is hard as a trans parent

They see right through me

The reason the bank account of I, a trans person, is empty.

Every action I make is a transaction.

Why did the trans woman go by she/her?

Because her/she was trademarked.

I now identify as invisible

Although I was born visible, I am now trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where

What do you call a vegetarian trans-man

A herbefore

Friend: “I heard one of the beer companies put a trans woman on their beer can.” Me: “Anheuser Busch?”

Friend: “I don’t know, I couldn’t see her bush.”

How did the trans guy come out to his parents?

“There’s something that I really need to get off of my chest”

Which Pokemon in-game item should you never give to your Trans friends?

And Ether. It restores pp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping cabin on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a cabin, they went to bed, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, they were both still wide awake and they both knew it.

He said: "I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet under you...

Even though the trans womens club is thriving

Members are dropping off

Caitlyn Jenner becomes a super hero but doesn’t know what group to join...

She’s still deciding whether to be an Ex-men or a Trans-former

what do you call an elderly trans person?

>!translate!<

Why couldn't Chinese hackers decrypt the trans man's signal?

It was non-binary

What's the least likely profession for a trans person?

Mail man.

Why are trans women so good at swimming?

Because they are boyn’t

It's Trans Visibility Day today...

I wonder how you'd feel about that as a trans-parent.

What are a trans parents pronouns

Who/where

My friend randomly said: "Pinocchio is a trans icon."

Me: Why?

My friend: "I wanna be a real boy!"

(A stupid joke but I wanted to post it anyway)

Did you know the first trans people came from Egypt?

It was when daddy's became mummy's

My wife asked me if i was secretly trans.

So i packed her stuff and left.

How many trans women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, and you don't even need the lightbulb. Just tell her she's a lovely girl, and she'll brighten up the room instantly.

I always wanted a super power, so I named my son Tran

I can’t quite turn invisible, but at least I’m transparent

Why was the trans person that just moved in always getting lost?

They were new to these parts.

A MtF Trans woman goes to a Halloween costume party...

But she shows up in her regular clothes. The party goers ask "did you forget this was a costume party?"

She replies "Oh I remembered. I'm dressed as one of the X-Men."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans

I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.

Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.

Me: Pinocchio?

Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"

Edit: thanks for all the support and a...

What did the doctor say to to the female to male trans guy.

You have an iron deficiency.

What do Joe Biden and trans people have in common?

Republicans want to block their transition

A trans woman took her artwork to an art constat.

It was a series of lifelike paintings and sculptures of catholic nuns, done using only the best of materials. There were a lot of good entries to be sure, but every one she entered, she won easily.

When the judges were asked why they all couldn't help but give her gold, they answered,
...

A FtM trans man gets asked what career path he wants to pursue.

He laughs and replies: “a mailman”

(A trans man made this)

A Trans-Nordic race was planned to pass through Norway, Sweden, and Finland, ending at the Russian border.

But everyone stopped at the Finnish line instead.

Do trans girls float in water?

After all, they are boy’nt

Marvel have announced their newest Superhero team, one consisting entirely of Trans-woman.

The Ex-Men.

Why do we need Trans visibility day?

Isn't that against the whole point of transparency?

Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?

It uses Hershey pronouns.

On Kid Rock being seen recently drinking Bud Light despite his rant against their supporting trans people...

Sometimes you drink what you can afford.

Did you hear about that trans-species gazelle?

He’s really transformed himself. You could say he was born a gnu.

Why does a well-done trans joke start off dark and turn wholesome?

Because the goal is a good transition.

I told my kids I wanted to be a trans-parent

They knew I was joking because they could see right through me

What kind of programming do trans robots have?

Non-Binary

How many trans people does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But they have to live in the dark for 30 years before they're allowed to change, and nobody will believe them afterwards.

What do you call a trans woman who's laughing?

xD

One of my buddies made a trans girl cry yesterday. So I angrily asked, "How could you..."

"... propose to her without telling me first?"

I’m ok with trans women competing in women’s sports

As long as I’m allowed to bet

What’s the hottest thing about trans girls?

You know they’re all squirters

Having a trans parent is really difficult for kids.

It feels like they are never there.

My trans child can’t see me.

It’s probably because I’m transparent.

What do trans women and ravers have in common?

They both pop a lot of E.

Did you see the news about the trans couple adopting kids?

It was *Transparent*

What is a trans person's favorite Brittany Spears song?

"I'm not a boy, not yet a woman"

What do you call a trans person that doesnt want to do something right now?

A translater

What did the trans-textual book say to the librarian?

"Did you just assume my genre?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once travelled the Trans-Sahara Highway in an old funeral coach with all of the badges removed.

I suppose you could say I've been through the desert in a hearse with no name.

Q: What would a Trans person be called if he/she has a child?

A: Transparent!

I came out to my Asian parents as a trans woman and told them I have a boyfriend named Shane.

I think they are taking it pretty well. They said they did't have a son and I would bring Shane to the family.

A trans friend of mine was recently able to adopt a kid.

Haven’t really seen him around lately, though, now that he’s a trans parent.

My doctor advised me to stay away from trans fats.

I guess I should really get off Tumblr

Why did Iron Man become a trans woman?

Because she realized she was Fe-male!

I really identify with the trans movement...

For the first 9 months of my life, I was a man trapped in a woman's body!

We had a trans friend come over for Christmas this year

He said he can’t wait to eat, drink and be Mary

I will never date a trans person, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Besides, my wife would kill me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a sexual interaction between two trans individuals?

A transaction.

This is the only good original joke I've made in my entire life, and that's not a joke!
Haven't seen this posted elsewhere before.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me and my trans male buddy decided to form a bowling team.

We’re calling ourselves “2 Men 2 Balls 1 Goal.”

So I realized that I'm trans a few months ago

And you know what? In a lot of ways it's made life easier. Estrogen definitely causes mood swings but I feel like I've been having fewer and fewer bad days.

Yep, it sure does feel easier to keep my head over the water now that I'm boyn't.

A trans woman complained about having her makeup done without her consent.

"I told him not to do it but he did anyway!"

But the guy who did her makeup told his side of the story:

"You DID consent. I asked if I could do it and your exact words were 'I'll pass, thanks.'"

To the people comparing Rachel Dolezal pretending to be black to Caitlyn Jenner being trans...

Transrachel isn't the same as transjenner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Smith died (Rus. Trans.)

A doctor comes to work one day, and sees one of the nurses crying.
"Why are you crying, Mary?" he asks her.
"Don't you know doctor? Mr. Smith died."
The doctor doesn't know who Mr. Smith is, so he asks the nurse but she just goes on crying.
The doctor, mystified, goes to his office, and ...

How did the trans man come out to his parents?

"Mom, Dad, I've got a couple things I need to get off my chest."

Trans-continental blonde ....

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies, 'Just a minute.' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.

My kids began ignoring me so much that I feel invisible...

Now I identify as trans-parent.

I COMPLETELY disagree with Trump's military trans ban...

I mean, wouldn't all those attack helicopters be useful??

Trans Fats

Fat people identifying as skinny.

I'm trans-GPA

I'm a 4.0 student living in the body of a 2.0 student

I am an obese man identifying as a skinny man...

I am trans-fat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the 'Nam. (Rus. Trans.)

The Vietnam war. A russian general is selling a vietnamese general some warplanes. "See here,"- says the russian general:" Push this blue button if you are losing a battle. Push this green button if you are really losing a battle. Push this red button only when you are really REALLY losing a battle....

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Two guys in hell (Rus. Trans.)

Two guys - a russian and an american die and are sentensed to go to hell. In hell they are met by a demon who asks them if they whant to go to Russian Hell or to American Hell. The american says:"Ive been american all my life, I will go to American Hell." The russian says:"Ive been russian all my li...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made a robot who changes people into the opposite sex.

I guess he's a trans former

I liked it better when Trans-Siberian Orchestra was just Siberian Orchestra

Now I'm always getting confused as to whether they're a band or a woband

What do you call someone who isn't trans and likes to roll around while drinking lots of water?

A cis-turn

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what did the trans cow say to her mom?

Bitch I'm a cow

Son: Dad, what are this 'trans fats" given on the label?

Dad: Trans fats are both groups of people you can't make fun of.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you say when you meet a gay, black, trans person?

"Hello."

What do you call a trans demon?

An Evil Trap.

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