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Control Group Jokes

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Not to brag, but we did a lot experiments with drugs, sex, and alcohol when I was in college.

Unfortunately I was part of the control group.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife asked me whether I experimented with sex and drugs when I was in high school.

I said, “Yes, but I was part of the control group.”

What is the scientific name for anti-vaxxers during a pandemic?

The control group.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My scientist wife decided to test the hyphotesis that more sex would improve our marriage. It's only been a week, and I've already concluded...

...that I'm in the control group.

The CDC needs volunteers for the control group to test a new antidote for children.

Any antivaxxers have kids they can part with?

People give anti-vaxxers a hard time, but they gave us one important thing...

A control group for our studies confirming that vaccines do not cause autism.

What's the difference between a mad engineer and a mad scientist?

The mad engineer builds an efficient, well-desined death ray and destroys the world in one blow.

The mad scientist builds his death ray and divides the world into three randomised groups: an experimental group to be killed, a control group to be spared and a group that is told they are dead ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

i was excited when i was asked to participate in experiment about regular sex and its effects on mental health

being in control group definitely make me depressed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The mayor is worried about juvenile crime in the city, so he orders various groups to do something about it. Half a year later, they meet to discuss their results.

"We reached out to local schools and started youth programs to keep children busy and educate them on better behaviour. Our studies show that crime among participants fell by 15% compared to the control group."

"We increased police presence in affected areas to deter unlawful behaviour. Our o...

My wife said she wants to experiment more in the bedroom

Unfortunately, it looks likeI'm in the control group.

We have been misunderstanding antivaxxers this whole time! They really *do* their own research

Specifically, they are the control group.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The results of a 3-year trial for a drug that prevents diabetes are in.

A scientist walks into his boss's office to brief him on the results.

"How did you conduct this study?" asked the boss,

"We gave a group of 300 participants our drug, at 3 doses a day, and another 300 a placebo. We then found the number of people in each group who had diabetes." replie...

I'm doing a science experiment on comedy where I tell people a joke and see their reaction.

Welcome to the control group.

I was part of a scientific study on the calming effects of listening to the Three Tenors.

I felt great, but was in the control group. It turns out I was listening to Placebo Domingo.

On my way home from work today I was listening to Placebo..

I thought I was listening to something else, but obviously I was the control group.

A scientist couple had identical twins...

They named one Peter and the other one Control Group.

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