Kroger Jokes

He buys a Powerade.

The cashier says, "that'll be 95 cents."

Chad Kroger gives the cashier a dollar and takes the Powerade without taking his change.

Before Chad leaves the cashier yells, "Wait!"

Chad replies, "What?"

"Your band fucking sucks."

They would poke through the packaging. (from my friend who works in Kroger meat dept)

Six people are planning a dinner party: a Jew, a Christian, a Muslim, a Pagan, a Hindu, and an Atheist. The Atheist suggests pork chops as the main course. The Jew says, “No, we can’t have pork, YHWH strictly forbids the consumption of pork.”

The Christian says in response, “No He doesn’t! Je... read more

They attend a few introductory classes and meet with the pastor, who will decide whether they'll be approved for membership.

The pastor says, "Well, as you may have heard, we take fasting pretty seriously here. And Lent is just around the corner. I'd like to ask you to do something that may s... read more

They go to the church for Pre-Cana. The father asks “are you two currently living together?” To which they reply “Yes”. The Father tells them he will not marry them unless they move out until the wedding.

So they do.

Three weeks go by and only they return for another Pre-Cana class. ... read more

I went grocery shopping this weekend, which in
hindsight may not have been very wise.

You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to shit yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful,which ... read more