Kim Jong Un Jokes - 44 Hilarious Kim Jong Un Jokes

So Kim Jong Un is apparently in a coma...

...Which is weird, because I thought his dad was the Il one.

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Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI

No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its mea...

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A Joke About Kim Jong Un

[removed]

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Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin were having a meeting in a 20 story building.

During a break the two leaders made a bet about the loyalty of their guards.

First, Putin called his guard Ivan into the room, opened the window and said, "Ivan, jump down."

Ivan replied in tears, "Mr. President, how could you do this to me? I have a wife and a son."

Putin expla...

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What’s the difference between Kim jong un and dominoes ?

Dominoes can deliver a crispy Hawaiian in less than 30 minutes

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They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book

That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader

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Kim Jong Un visits a pig farm somewhere in rural North Korea. A photograph of him with some pigs is taken.

The caption reads: Several pigs surrounding Dear Leader (3rd from left)

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Why did Kim Jong Un kill all the owls in North Korea?

Because they all kept repeating "Coup, Coup."

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Did you hear about this North Korean guy who compared Kim Jong Un to an elephant?

It was a bad joke, but I liked the execution

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong Un was sitting in his office wondering whom to irritate next when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Kim!", a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

"Well, Paddy," Kim replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said ...

Breaking news KIM JONG UN just lost 50 lbs

He is now addressed as Slim Jong Un

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BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

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There's a rumour that North Korean dictator, Kim Jong Un is dead.

But personally, I think he's just Kim Jong Un-well

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Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient.

They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.

Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says "Please Putin, I have a wife and children!" Putin lets him go.

Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. ...

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Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors:

“North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!”

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

“How are you going to send people to the sun? It’s too hot!”

Kim Jong Un replies by sayin...

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Kim Jong Un is currently..

The Shrodingers cat of dictators.

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I heard that Kim Jong Un is sick.

I guess that makes him Kim Jong Ill

(I hope this isn't a repost)

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I was surprised when Kim Jong Un agreed to let me marry his daughter

Cause now I get to call him my father-un-law

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I wonder what happened to Kim Jong Un

Maybe he’s Un-responsive

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Kim Jong Un got cloned...

Kim Jong Un got cloned.

What will we call him, asks the scientist ?

"Kim Jong- Deux" replied his French assistant.

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What's Kim Jong Un's favorite step of mitosis?

Nuclear division.

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Kim Jong Un released a statement today

I don’t know what it said it must’ve been Morse code, all it said was *beep* *beep* *beep* *beeeeeep*

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What if that kim jong un rises from the dead??

Can we name him Kim jong undo?

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If Kim Jong Un named his son Kim Jong

Then his sons full name would be Kim Jong Deux

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What do you call a potato on Kim Jong Un’s balls?

A dictator.

Came up with this in my history class haha

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Don't make fun of Kim Jong Un just because of his condition.

It's not his fault he suffers from projectile dysfunction.

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What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has control over his country.

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Did you hear about the surgeon who botched Kim Jong Un surgery?

Yeah, me neither.

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Kim Jong un would be great at call of duty

If team kills counted twords the "nuke" scorestreak

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Kim Jong Un went to get his palm read.

"Ah", said the mystic. "One year from now I see great glory in your future.

Two years from now I see even greater glory.

Three years from now the glory is joined by love.

However I must warn you that past that I can read nothing of your future."

At this the dictator gets...

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Kim Jong Un walked into a bar

The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump

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A North Korean man was arrested and given 15 years for calling Kim Jong Un a fathead

1 year for insulting the Supreme Leader and 14 for revealing a state secret

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They say Kim Jong Un attended the opening of a fertilizer factory

...it is unclear whether he was there as a spectator or as a fertilizer.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So now that Kim Jong Uns sister is going to rule North Korea

Is she the worlds first vagtator?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kim Jong Un

I remember reading a news story about North Korean propaganda. One piece involved a lie Kim Jong Un told his people. In an effort to deceive the people into thinking he was a deity, he told them he never has to defecate. I remember reading that and thinking, "Wow, he is so full of shit."

What did Kim Jong Un say after a nuclear war with China?

"when I said nuke the Chinese, I was talking about the left overs!"

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Why didn't Kim Jong Un cry when he heard his half brother, Kim Jong Nam, had been killed?

Because the news was unbereaveable.

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I much prefer Kim Jong Un to Donald Trump

One of them was a businessman for most of his life, while the other has been a politician for his whole Korea!

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Vladamir Putin, Hitler , and Kim Jong Un all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it's for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he was finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next up, Hitler ca...

Apparently Kim Jong Un supervised the testing of a new missile weapon system.

I don't know, but it seems quite dangerous to have missiles being fired Un-supervised.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Say what you like about Kim Jong Un...

...but I think he is right on the button with some issues.

What was Kim Jong Un's favorite class in school?

Literature. He is a supreme reader after all.

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Kim jong il takes Kim jong un on a visit to a food processing company.

Il points at a machine and says: “This one, you put a pig into it and sausages will come out on the other side. The power of science is amazing!” To which Un replied: “ Is there a device then, where you put in a sausage, and pig comes out?”
•

Kim jong il: YOURMOM

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What’s Kim Jong Un’s favourite sport team?

Houston Rockets ...

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