Mma Jokes

Alien versus Redditor.

Cause otherwise, they'd be boxers!!!

His fly was down.

It was mooey tie night.

They all finish in under a minute

with a jokehold

A grapple a day keeps the doctor away

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and relaxes. Later, he yells to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar is now silent. The man next to the blind man says to him, "I don't think you should tell that joke. That bartender is blond, the person sitting next to you is a pro... read more

He says we're going to work on the donkey punch tomorrow!

She's the only one that finishes before I do.

I told him to roll with the punches

During a break in the music, he loudly says "hey, y'all wanna hear a blond joke?" Being blind, he doesn't realize how many blond women are in the bar. The bartender walks up to him and tells him "alright man, I know you're blind and new around here, so let me offer you some advice. I am 6'5 and blon... read more

“Nah I’mma stay”

Every wish that is granted her will be doubled to her Ex-husband.

So to test the genie she makes her first wish for $10 million. Sure enough her Ex received $20 million.

Her 2nd wish is for 2 supermodel consorts. Again her Ex is graced with 4 supermodels to fulfill his every desire.... read more

In front of it the man sees two queues. One of them seems to be a few people shorter so naturally he lines up there. As he reaches the end of the queue, a muscular MMA fighter rushes out of the building and hits the young man right where it hurts.

The young man gasps and crashes to the ground... read more

The woman responds, “before you tell your blonde joke, let me tell YOU something. I’m a professional MMA fighter and I’m blonde. The woman next to me is a professional kickboxer and she’s blonde too. Oh and next to her, a judo instructor. Also blonde. You still want to tell me that blonde joke?”
... read more

Nah, I’mma stay.

He did some sort of MMA combination and knock ever one of them out, turns out he was the carroty kid.

A blind man walks into a bar and sits down. He says to the bartender, "Hey, do you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender leans in and says, "Sir, because you're blind, I'm going to offer you some advice. The blonde lady in the corner, she is a trained MMA fighter. The two blonde girls in the ... read more

...where a couple of patrons have gotten into a fight.
When they get there they find an Acid and a Base trading blows. The officers split them up, give them a verbal warning, and send them on their way in opposite directions.

A couple of days later the same officers are called out to a... read more

...and finds a vacant seat and proceeds to order a beer. As he sips his first drink of his nice cold beer she says to the bartender, "Do you want to hear a joke, it is a really funny blond joke I just heard?"

The bartender looks at the blind man and replies, "Sir, since you are blind I will ... read more