Jung Jokes - 25 Hilarious Jung Jokes

I hear Kim Jung-Un has read every book ever written...

That's why they call him the Supreme Reader.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jung and Freud

are arguing about the fine points of psychiatry, then things got nasty.

Said Freud "You are a dick Carl!" Answered Jung "Your mama!"

I Like Jung's Theory of the Collective Unconscious

I think we're all asleep at the wheel!

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

Did you know kim jung-un doesnt cry at funerals?

Hes un-bereaveable...

What do you call a skinny kim-jung in?

Slim-jung un

Kim Jung Un called Xi Jinping at 3:30 in the morning.

Xi: Why are you calling at *this* time?

Kim: I am going to test a nuke.

Xi: Okay, when are you going to do this?

Kim: 10.

Xi: 10 what? In 10 months? 10 weeks? 10 days?

Kim: 9.

What do Kim Jung Un and Donald Trump have in common?

They're both long overdue for a heart attack, but even the devil doesn't want them.

Why is Kim Jung Un so upset?

because he has no Seoul

Due to social distancing, everyone is asking Kim Jung Un how far six feet is Exactly!

Because he is the supreme ruler.

According to Carl Jung, I should live life like a kleptomaniac hooker...

...and take things as they come.

If we replace all "Chuck Norris" jokes with Kim Jung Un....

We could write the North Korean Official Website.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone thought Kim Jung Un was in a vegetative state, but actually he was in the studio recording his acoustic album

Kim Jung Unplugged.

In the latest federal North Korean election, Kim Jung Un won 100% of the vote.

A landslide victory against his sole competitor: "*Or else*".

3 Psychoanalysts walk into a bar

Bartender says: we have every beer from around the world. What can I get you fellas?

Sigmund Freud says: I’ll have an Austrian lager in a pint glass

Carl Jung says: I’ll have a Swiss lager also in a pint glass

Bartender looks at the third guy and says: where you from buddy?
...

In a previous life I was a psychoanalyst that turned to prostitution to pay for a rare piece of art.

Don't judge me.

I was Jung and I needed the Monet.

In 1910 Freud was old

But his student was Jung

Hear about the famous Philosopher Karl?

He died Jung

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them?

dicktator tots

As a child, I wanted to be a psychologist.

But my parents told me, "We're a-Freud you're too Jung for that."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sigmund Freud is talking to his buddy ...

... and the conversation turns to sex, as often happens. Freud says, "I'm thinking about taking out Carl's daughter."

"Carl's daughter?" says the buddy in disbelief. "Isn't she a little Jung?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A motorcycle driver...

...dies in an accident. He finds himself in hell, he looks around and spots Hitler. Hitler comes over and asks the young fella "Well what brought you here mein Junge?" The motorcycle driver replies " Well... too far right and too much gas, which left the whole place burning." Hitler answers " Ah yea...

A psychoanalyst says he thinks he is going crazy

Another psychoanalyst thinks to himself "Im aFreud he is going to commit suicide. He is too Jung to die"

I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year.

But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung

A Freudian Slip:

What all the Jung ladies are wearing.

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