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Jung and Freud

are arguing about the fine points of psychiatry, then things got nasty.

Said Freud "You are a dick Carl!" Answered Jung "Your mama!"

What do Kim Jung Un and Donald Trump have in common?

They're both long overdue for a heart attack, but even the devil doesn't want them.

Kim Jung Un: Pshhhhh. Walking on the moon? I can walk on the sun!

Kin Jung Un’s Advisor: Uh...Um....Mr-Mr Chairman? The sun is too hot you cannot go walk on the sun


Kim Jung Un: Then I’ll go at night!!


Trump watching this on Tv: He is such an idiot. There is no sun at night!

Did you know kim jung-un doesnt cry at funerals?

Hes un-bereaveable...

What do you call a skinny kim-jung in?

Slim-jung un

I hear Kim Jung-Un has read every book ever written...

That's why they call him the Supreme Reader.

Kim Jung Un called Xi Jinping at 3:30 in the morning.

Xi: Why are you calling at *this* time?

Kim: I am going to test a nuke.

Xi: Okay, when are you going to do this?

Kim: 10.

Xi: 10 what? In 10 months? 10 weeks? 10 days?

Kim: 9.

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

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What do you get when you grind up Kim Jung Un's junk, mix in some shredded potatoes, ball them up and deep fry them?

dicktator tots

According to Carl Jung, I should live life like a kleptomaniac hooker...

...and take things as they come.

Kim Jung-un wants to meet Trump in the DMZ

But Trump prefers TMZ

Why is Kim Jung Un so upset?

because he has no Seoul

If we replace all "Chuck Norris" jokes with Kim Jung Un....

We could write the North Korean Official Website.

In the latest federal North Korean election, Kim Jung Un won 100% of the vote.

A landslide victory against his sole competitor: "*Or else*".

In a previous life I was a psychoanalyst that turned to prostitution to pay for a rare piece of art.

Don't judge me.

I was Jung and I needed the Monet.

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A motorcycle driver...

...dies in an accident. He finds himself in hell, he looks around and spots Hitler. Hitler comes over and asks the young fella "Well what brought you here mein Junge?" The motorcycle driver replies " Well... too far right and too much gas, which left the whole place burning." Hitler answers " Ah yea...

In 1910 Freud was old

But his student was Jung

Hear about the famous Philosopher Karl?

He died Jung

As a child, I wanted to be a psychologist.

But my parents told me, "We're a-Freud you're too Jung for that."

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Sigmund Freud is talking to his buddy ...

... and the conversation turns to sex, as often happens. Freud says, "I'm thinking about taking out Carl's daughter."

"Carl's daughter?" says the buddy in disbelief. "Isn't she a little Jung?"

A psychoanalyst says he thinks he is going crazy

Another psychoanalyst thinks to himself "Im aFreud he is going to commit suicide. He is too Jung to die"

I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year.

But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung

A Freudian Slip:

What all the Jung ladies are wearing.

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