What do you call a sundae that melts away and turns into garbage?

A Mon-dae

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How loang does it take an english wifey tae dae a shite

Aboot nine months.

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A Scotsman goes into a brothel

in Amsterdam one night and finds himself a nice-looking prostitute.

He asks her, 'How much dae ye charge for an hour?' '€100,' she replies.

So he asks, 'Okay, dae ye dae it Scottish style?' She says 'No!'

He then says 'I'll gie you €200 to dae it Scottish style'. She didn't...

What do Aussie bass strings say?

G'DAE!

A Glasgow girl goes to the Civic Center to register for child benefit.

"How many children?" asks the civil servant?

"10" replies the girl.

"10???" says the civil servant.. "What are their names?"

"Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec

"Doesn't that get confusing?" "

Naw..." says the girl "its great bec...

London Lawyer v Glasgow Cop

A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from London and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cop's ...

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