Jennifer Lawrence Jokes

The train enters a tunnel and in the darkness the sound of a slap rings out. When the train comes out the Frenchman is rubbing his bruised cheek.

The Frenchman thinks, "The Englishman must have tried to kiss Jennifer and she slapped me by mistake."

Jennifer Lawrence thinks, "The Frenc... read more

...I don't know about all that, but I did shower after I came.

They say he's the first person ever to be hi-fived to death.

(Note: replace the name 'Jim' with the name of someone in the group that you're telling this joke to)

The other day Jim and I were walking around town when, out of nowhere, we get run over by a truck and die, and we both go straight to hell.

In hell, I'm greeted by the devil, who tells... read more

Their quest has them finding a magic swimming pool guarded by a fairy.

"I all know your plight and now I present you the solution to all your problems! Just run and dive to this pool and while you're in the air, scream the name of the person you want to be as beautiful as and you shall ge... read more

...and spends many months alone. Just as he's reaching the point that he's starting to go crazy, he spots a ship in the distance and, all excited, lights a fire on the beach that he'd prepared for just such an eventuality.

He's overjoyed when he sees the ship change course and start heading f... read more