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Jackhammer Jokes

What did the jackhammer say to the soldier?

This is not a drill

Have you guys heard about the new jackhammer?

It’s ground breaking technology

There was a study to show the effectiveness of jackhammers.

It was ground-breaking.

I applaud Samuel Miller, the man who invented the jackhammer.

He had a groundbreaking idea.

The Jackhammer,

Now that was a groundbreaking discovery.

The invention of the jackhammer. . .

It was groundbreaking.



[Side Note] I have already posted this on /r/badpuns but, that seems inactive so,
I decided to repost it here.

Did you hear about that new state of the art jackhammer technology?

"Groundbreaking"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wonder Woman is laying on the beach naked.

Superman flys over and sees Wonder Woman speed eagle and naked with her eyes closed. Superman says to himself, "I bet I can fly down there and bust a nut in her before she even realizes what happened.

He decides to go for it. He flys down and super bangs her faster than a speeding bullet an...

TIL about a ground breaking invention that's shaking the construction industry

It's called the jackhammer

My friend asked me what my favorite tool was

I told him it was a jackhammer
He asked why
I said i liked it because it was a ground breaking invention

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Plane in a storm.

A plane gets caught up in a violent storm. Lightning bolts hit the plane several times, strong winds buffet it in all directions. All of the passengers are sure they are going to die. Some are screaming, many are throwing up, a few are praying.

Finally, an attractive, smartly-dressed business...

An old man orders a chicken from the diner...

The irascible old gentleman had ordered a chicken from the menu, but when he got it, he wasn’t satisfied.

“Waiter!” he yelled. “Bring a charge of dynamite and a hatchet and a double steam power jackhammer—that’s the only way I can carve this bird!”

The waiter was desolate. “Very sorry,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Voodoo sex toy

This man is going to go out of town for the weekend for a conference at his job. He's a good husband to his wife so he doesn't want her to be "alone" while he is away. One night after work, he goes to the adult store in his city. He goes in and looks around at all the sex toys but they all look t...

Idk, a long old joke

A very elderly couple is seated at a table in a bar. The woman looks over to the man, holding his hand and says, "Do you remember meeting me for the first time right here 50 years ago?"
The husband replies, "Yes dear."
The wife says, "Do you remember what we did afterwards?"
The husb...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Black Eye

A guy with a black eye walks into a bar and orders a triple bourbon.

The bartender says "Having a tough day, huh?"

The guy says "Yeah. My wife and I were doing the dishes and she turned to me and said 'Why don't we ever make love like in the movies?'

"So I bent her over the k...

A Scary Midnight Story

A taxi driver is going home at midnight when he decides to take a shortcut through a cemetery. He's driving slowly through the dark when he suddenly stops in shock. In front of his headlights is a lady in white hailing him down.

Before he has time to think, the woman climbs in and says in a ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two American business men in the 1980s are visiting Tokyo, Japan to make a business deal with an electronics company

Sadly the CEO (Mr. Yamoto) had an unexpected issue to deal with at one of his factories and couldn't see the men that day, but had his COO (Mr. Hagino) not only invite the two Americans to join them for a round of golf the next day to discuss business, but also to show them around and keep them ent...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aliens abduct a businessman, a scientist and a miner.

"So here's the thing, after achieving everything we could on our home planet we grew bored and now we travel galaxy and ask stupid questions. Here is yours -- what is the biggest number you can possibly think of? If answer amuses us, we grant you immortality, if not, we zap you with this death ray r...

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