A grumpy, drunken, old cowboy was riding his horse near the Mexican border when he noticed it chewing on a strange, stout cactus.
Before long, the pony started behaving strangely, walking slowly and irregularly and not responding to the cowboys commands. The cowboy became progressively more frustrated, as well as more drunk and more mean as he continued to glug himself into the depths of his whiskey bottle. The horse ev...
The Farmer and the Monk
A young farmhand was once unfortunate enough to share a room at the inn with an old monk, who talked incessantly from evening's light to morning glow about matters of philosophy and science. Bored of the one-sided conversation, the monk soon proposed a challenge of wits.
The farmhand was ...
A drunk walks into a pet store
. . . and leans heavily on the counter. "Gimmie a shot of Jim Beam," he slurs to the clerk.
"I, I'm sorry, sir," says the clerk, "you must be mistaken. This is a--"
"Goddamnit, I wanna (hic) drink, you can't tell me what mzmblrf kn izzenuf!" shouts the drunk, slamming his fist on the ...