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This asshole thought that just because some fancy, expensive vehicle, he could go as fast as he wanted and weave inbetween cars. So I got in front of him and slowed down to 10kmph below the speed limit lmao

Fuckin ambulances I swear

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Toast to your good life

Paddy O'Brien was at the pub and hoisted his beer saying, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life inbetween the legs of me wife!”

Everyone cheered and he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night.

In bed later that night, he says to his wife, “Mary, I won the prize for t...

There are two trees in the forest, a beech and a birch. One day...

They notice a small tree has sprouted up inbetween them. The birch says, "Man, that really looks like a son of a beech!"

The beech retorts, "No way! That's gotta be a son of a birch!" So, they start arguing back and forth "son of a beech" and "son of a birch".

Eventually, a woodpecker ...

A rookie reporter gets his first interview with a guy who castrates camels.

Not knowing where to start he asks: “how do you castrate a camel?”
The guy repsonds: “Well I take two large flat stones and slap them together.”

The shocked reporter asks: “Isn’t that a very painful ordeal?”

“No, you just have to make sure your fingers don’t get stuck inbetween thos...

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Arthritis Thumbs

*This is a story a co-worker told me.*

A man walks into a diner, he orders Roast Beef with mashed potatoes and gravy.

*The worker there walks out with his thumb in the mashed potatoes.*



Customer: Why's your thumb in the Gravy?

Worker: Oh, I'm sorry, would you like...

A traveller has dinner at a monastery.

A traveller was walking through the mountains when he came across a great monastery, he was far from a town and so knocked on it's doors seeking shelter.

A monk came out and greeted him and the traveller asked for a place to stay for the night.

"Certainly" replied the monk "But first, ...

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A lawyer is sitting on a plane...

...and he notices that there's a blonde woman sitting next to him, looking like she's about to fall asleep. He thinks quickly, *how do I make some money off of this dumb blonde?*

He suddenly has a great idea, and leans over, tapping her on the shoulder. She blinks at him. "Hm? What is it?"...

Why is Steve Jobs middle child unemployed?

Because he's always inbetween jobs.

Aggressiveness is in the eye of the beholder.

Until he punches you in the face. Then aggressiveness is inbetween the eyes of the beholder.

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