UPJOKE
burlygruffbeefystrappingmalamutebuirdlyeskimo dogrobustcacophoniccacophonoussled dogeskimothroatyraspywolf

Me: What kind of dog you got? Him: Husky

Me (in a lower voice): What kind of dog you got?

People who talk to their dogs are just plain stupid...

Saw a couple today talking to their husky. Intelligent dog, don't get me wrong, but do they seriously think he understands everything he is told? I came home and told my cat all about it, we laughed our asses off!

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that ...

What do you call a husky/pug mix?

A hug!

Why was it so hard for the Malamute puppy to find clothes in his size?

Because he was a little Husky.

I told the corn he wasn't fat, just a little husky.

He didn't know how to take the compliment tho I guess it went against the grain.

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What do you get, when you cross a husky and a blondie?

Either a really stupid fucking dog, or a frost resistant bitch

My wife slapped me when I told her I'm buying her a puppy for Christmas.

I thought she'd be excited to hear that she's getting a little husky...

What's the difference between a trump supporter and a newly adopted Siberian husky?

The dog has the mental fortitude to realize he's just gotten owned by a Russian.

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I know a skinny guy who moved to Alaska.

When he came back, he was a husky fucker.

What do you call an overweight Russian?

A Siberian husky!

I used to have a border collie...

...then my parents fed him too much and he became husky.

I'm not saying my neighbor's dog is fat

But she's more than a little husky.

A bit of corn tries to get into heaven

St Peter asks
"what was your job?"
"I was a Kernel before I got popped" it answers.
"in what army?" st Peter asks
And the corn answers in a husky voice: "the one that stalks maizes and takes ears".

I'm not sorry, just a little corny.

3 dogs met at the park

The Husky mentioned that God has blessed Huskies as the superior breed.

The Rottweiler snapped quickly and replied that God said Rottweilers are the absolute best!

The German Sheppard turned and asked, “ I said what ?”

An Iditerod racer took a sled dog to the vet. "He's acting very strange," said the dog owner. "He encourages the other dogs to hump him. Other than that, he's perfectly normal and a great musher. Should I be worried?"

"Not at all," said the vet. "He just identifies as female. What you have here is a Trans Siberian Husky."

My miniature Siberian dog is gaining weight too fast.

He’s a little Husky.

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Awkward moments

The way the joke is supposed to go:

>A man went to Alaska a 129 lb weakling and he came back a husky fucker.

My friend, who just started working at a new place, said it like this to a group of his new co-workers:

>A man went to Alaska a 129 lb weakling and he came back fuc...

What’s a corn farmers favorite kind of dog

A Husky

Did you hear about the guy whose vocal cords were damaged in an accident, so they had to do a transplant from a puppy?

He's doing okay but his voice is a little husky now.

Not stupid joke at all involves no puns.........

There was a bamboo stalk and a corn stalk who lived in the same neighborhood. The corn didn't really know the bamboo but the bamboo liked to watch the corn and sometimes follow him. The bamboo sometimes said "Sup my HUSKY bro". One day the corn turns around and yells at the bamboo, "STOP STALKING M...

Why did the dog feel insecure in her bathing suit?

She was a little husky.

A Man Was Lost In The Desert

A man was lost in the desert for days and days and days and was crawling on his hands and knees. He had heat stroke, sun stroke, everything stroke and in maybe a few minutes he would be dead.

In the distance he saw a mirage, he thought. He saw someone coming towards him but he hadn't seen an...

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Pierre the French Aviator

Pierre the French Aviator was dashingly handsome and quite the ladies man. He went out one night and met a beautiful lady and seduced her. They went back to his place where things started to progress...

*"Oh Pierre! Pierre? Won't you kiss me?"* asked the woman.

(In thick French accent)...

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Burly gentleman.

There was a dad who was worried about his son's behavior. He was worried about his son becoming "one of those queers."

The dad found an ad for a winter camp logging up north, so thinking he would make his son a right burly gentleman, he sent his son off to winter camp.

8 weeks of wint...

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I hear someone coming

A man just moved in to his new appartment and goes down to the hallway to collect his mail. When he is on the way back a young woman in a bathrobe steps out of the appartment next to the elevator. They start talking and suddenly her bathrobe opens slightly and he can see she is wearing nothing under...

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The Priest and the Nun

A priest and a nun were traveling home from visiting a distant parish when a fierce snow storm forced them to stop. Luckily, they happened to be passing an inn, so they decided to stop for the night to wait out the storm.

Naturally (because this is a joke…) the inn had only one room remaining...

[L] My friend Robert took some stuff to the dry cleaner the other day.

My friend Robert (Bob, if you want) took some stuff to the dry cleaner the other day. Nothing out of the ordinary: some shirts, a jacket, and his favorite pair of shorts. Now, you should know: Robert isn’t the fittest of my friends — he’s what we affectionately refer to as “husky”, and IMO the short...

Ways To Get Rid Of Telemarketers

An old one, but a good one…

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for Bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Or you can say, “I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care...

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