My miniature Siberian dog is gaining weight too fast.
He’s a little Husky.
A Young Russian is sent to a Siberian Work Camp
A Guard looks at him and asks "How long is your sentence?"
The young man says, "Ten years"
The guard whistles and replies, "What did you do?"
"Nothing" says the young man.
The guard laughs and says "That's a lie. For doing nothing you only get 8 years"
How does one walk through a Siberian forest?
Do it in a calm and relaxed manner, but bear in mind
I like my women how I like my Siberian Orchestras...
The Americans and Russians
at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's...
I liked it better when Trans-Siberian Orchestra was just Siberian Orchestra
Now I'm always getting confused as to whether they're a band or a woband
There once was a man named Ivan who lived with his family in a Siberian forest...
After years of living in the harsh region, Ivan became rough, tough, hard to bluff, and extremely used to hardship.
He was large, muscular, and able to chop down a fully grown Siberian pine tree with one swing of his axe. This came in handy as Ivan had to chop down many trees to be used as fi...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An indian, muslim and black man is in the Siberian mountains
They are seeking shelter and find a house belonging to a farmer. They knock on the door and ask if they can stay the night there, the farmer agrees but since there is only room for two of them inside the house, one must sleep in the barn.
"Well, I do not mind a little discomfort," the muslim...
What's the difference between a trump supporter and a newly adopted Siberian husky?
The dog has the mental fortitude to realize he's just gotten owned by a Russian.
An Iditerod racer took a sled dog to the vet. "He's acting very strange," said the dog owner. "He encourages the other dogs to hump him. Other than that, he's perfectly normal and a great musher. Should I be worried?"
"Not at all," said the vet. "He just identifies as female. What you have here is a Trans Siberian Husky."
Russian man is watching weather forecast on TV and they say that it's -50°C in Siberia today...
In disbelief he calls his Siberian friend:
\- Hey, I've heard is super cold in Siberia these days?
\- Nah, it's nothing special, about -25°.
\- Yeah? On TV they've said it's -50° C!
\- Ah, this must be outside.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A police officer catches Dave duck-hunting, checks to make sure he has the right license.
So Dave went hunting in the woods, one day, and ***BAM!***, shot a duck.
A bored, nearby trooper waiting in his patrol car near the highway hears the gunshot, gets out, and runs into the woods to find Dave holding the duck.
The trooper yells, pointing at Dave, "You stop right there! L...
Many countries make prisoners do labour that's of no use to anyone.
In Britain, prisoners would climb a treadwheel that turned a fan.
In Russia, prisoners would break rocks in the Siberian wasteland.
And in Germany, prisoners are forced to fit the blinkers to BMW cars.
So, tensions with Russia flair up...
... And the Cold War reignites. With both the USA and Russia standing on the brink of total nuclear annihilation, the leaders decide to meet. Both agree that nothing on earth is worth an apocalypse, so they decide to end things once and for all; with a winner-takes-all dogfight. Both sides have 5 ye...
CIA Agent arrested in Russia
A CIA agent is arrested in Moscow and charged with spying. The agent is fluent in Russian and has had years of specialised training on how to blend in with the Russian people. he's the perfect sleeper agent. Down in the darkest dungeons beneath Kremlin the Russian Secret Service (FSS) begin thei...
You think you're special because you suddenly don't identify as male or female?
The Siberian Orchestra has identified as 'trans' for over 20 years.
Back in Soviet Russia...
...there was a man working at a Siberian coal mine. Every Friday he would take a wheelbarrow full of dirt home. Every time he did this the security guard would stop him, make him dump out the dirt and sift through it searching for coal or other stolen valuables. The security guard always found nothi...
A man from Moscow decides to move to a new collective farm in Siberia.
His family is excited at the possibility of leaving their cramped flat in the city for a nice country house, but they have heard mixed things about the new Siberian farms so the man agrees to go on his own first, and write back to let them know if they should follow him or not.
They know the ...
You think das ist a long time?
Obama, Putin and Merkel meet in Hamburg for a private summit, and Merkel decides to break the ice with a nice walk around the lake (Alster).
Obama, admiring the foliage, says "you know, in the States, we have forests so vast, that some military training exercises last as long as 2 years."...