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Hime Jokes

A guy comes hime with a bouquet of flowers for his wife

"I guess I'll have to spread my legs now" she says

Confused he asks "why? Don't you have a vase?"

one day two lions was bored

lion one: i know what we will do, lets go beat the rabbit.
The second lion was a little more conscientious so he said: but we need at least a Cause to do this.
so the first lion told him: i know, if the rabbit will wear a hat, we will ask him why is he wearing a hat, if he don't wear a hat we ...

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2 drunk guys are walking home

Two drunk guys, John and Adam were walking hime from a long day at the pub. The two spot a pile of cow in front of them.

John says, "Is that a pile of cow ?"

Adam says, "That's just a pile of mud, idiot. Want me to prove it to you?"

John agrees, and Adam goes over to th...

so a guy walks into te doctors office,

and he says "hey man, I have really bad back pain" the doctor asks why, and the guy says "Well I came home from work, to find wife in bed naked, and it was obvious there was another guy there, so I started looking. I go over to the window, and see a naked guy running down the street. so I grabbed th...

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A man heard a voice in his head

A man came hime from work and was tired. As he was falling asleep, he heard a voice in his head. "Quit your job, sell your house, take the money and go to Vegas". He didn't think much of it and just went to sleep.

The next few days, he heard the same voice in his head say the same thing. "Qu...

TWO MEN AND ONE GAME

Professor Q wanted to insult the redhead homeless who has been sleeping outside his apartment for over a week.

So he asked homeless to play a game. The rule is, they both ask each other questions, if the professor can't answer then he will give the homeless $500, if the homeless can't answer ...

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A bakery has opened in the woods

The bakery became very popular and every morning there was big crowd before the bakery.
One morning the rabit come late and started pushing trough the crowd. He almost made it to the bakery when the bear noticed hime and threw him on the back of the line.
The rabit kept pushing trough the cr...
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