Hair Cut Jokes

Because he had to mull it over.

... and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car" The boy thought about that for a moment,... read more

The king replied "In silence."

Credit goes to the Greeks, Hierocles and Philagrius.

After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.

It was the Best Barber Queue ever!

I said “no I got a lot of them cut”


Credit to my geometry teacher for the joke

He wants to pay but the barber says it is free of charge for a man of faith. The next morning the barber finds 5 silver coins in front of his door.

A buddhist goes to the barber and has his head shaved. He wants to pay but the barber says it is free of charge for a man of faith. The next mor... read more

Afterwards, the barber refused payment, saying "I cannot take money from a man of the cloth." The priest was so moved that the next day he sent the barber a dozen roses.

A minister went to the same barber. Afterwards, the barber refused payment, saying "I cannot take money from a man of the ... read more

He lifted me up and sat me on a cushion...

...and the girl cutting my hair mentioned she had a degree in cosmology. So I asked her whether she thought the cosmic background radiation was the best evidence for the big bang. She said big bangs would not look good on me, and that's the moment when I noticed the diploma on the wall that said "... read more

The man sits down and the barber lathers him up for his shave. The barber hands the man a little wooden ball and says “Put this in your cheek so it’s stretches the skin.” The man chuckles and asks “What happens if I swallow it?” To which the barber replies “Just bring it back tomorrow. At least that... read more

Me : Anything that will make me look good

Hairdresser : oh uhm. \**awkward silence*\* I can try

With little Caesar's.

"What should I pay you?" the monk asks. "No price, for a holy man such as yourself," the barber replies. And what do you know, the next day the barber comes to open his shop, and finds on his doorstep a dozen gemstones.


That day, a priest comes in to have his hair cut. "What shall I pay y... read more

At this rate, its gonna cost me a million dollars to get them all cut.

...and wanted to start a conversation with the lady cutting my hair. Maybe she likes birds, so I tried, "This morning when I opened my garage door I heard six different kinds of bird song in the first 30 seconds."

"Yeah, I guess." OK, she is not interested in birds. Maybe sports, "This weeken... read more

She said, "If you lost a few kgs, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right."

I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

Hopefully it will grow on me.

on dates.

After a few weeks, he goes back to his parents and asks for a car again.
"Son, you hair is even longer now than it was before!" they said.
*Well, you see, I've been going to church lately and they're been encouraging me to be more like Jesus. Turns out he never cut his hair, he kept it lon... read more

A man sits down in the barbers chair, the barber says "how would you like your hair cut?" the man says "in silence"

Take hair!

My 8 year old thought of it after his hair cut last night. I hope it’s OC as he doesn’t have a Reddit account, yet.