I like working in hotels that label the ground floor L for lobby.

If a guest has a complaint, I can tell them to go to L.

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The ground floor toilets were out of order. So I had to use the ones on the floor above.

That was some next level shit

My company just installed an elevator that labels the ground floor as "2" and goes up from there.

It's wrong on so many levels.

I just saw a convict on an elevator heading to the ground floor

He was condescending.

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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.

So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the groun...

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True story about quick thinking as a dad:

When my kids were little they would visit grandma and her old wood floor gave them splinters if they were barefoot. Every weekend I would end up pulling splinters out of their toes and feet. They would howl something fierce but once the splinter was out they would be so glad.

Cut to a year l...

I told the police I just witnessed a man jump from an apartment balcony.

"What floor?" they asked.

"He's on the ground floor," I replied.

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The dying man

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk.

Then I saw her through the window. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor.

She rolled her deep blue eyes at me. I picked them up and rolled them back.

We ki...

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A man gets in the hotel elevator

He hears a voice say "going up" and looks around, weirded out that he can't see anyone nearby who would have said that. But when he chooses his floor, the voice says "door closing" and he realizes it was the elevator talking.

So, after his vacation has ended, he gets into the elevator with h...

What do you call the first level of a coffee factory?

The ground floor.

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A guy went down the stairs from the 20th floor while looking out the window downstair of each floor

Then once he reached the ground floor he hugged the man sitting outside. Then the man said "what the fuck? Do I know you???" Then the guy said "i knew you when you were very little"

My dad worked in the elevator business

He started on the ground floor but eventually made his way to the top.

Finally quit because there were too many ups and downs on the job.

My dad's favourite joke

Three men are standing at the top of the Empire State Building.

The first man turns to the other two and says: "I bet you $1000 each that you can't throw your watch off the side, and catch it before it hits the ground."

Both men look at each other, look at their cheap watches, think "t...

I'm jealous of the people who first invested in elevators

They really got in on the ground floor.

A thief

A thief climbs in through a ground floor window one night and starts looking for valuables in the sitting room when suddenly he heard a voice say "Jesus is watching you. " he shows hi flashlight around the room but upon seeing nothing continues his search. A few minutes later he heard the same voice...

I heard a guy was playing with himself while watching construction workers on a job site...

Guess he was getting off on the ground floor.

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An Irishman, Scotsman and a Englishman all book into a hotel

The Irishmen books into Room 18 Floor 3, Scotsman in Room 18 Floor 2 and the englishman in Room 18 Ground Floor. Once getting their keys the irishman begans to shave out of his window, Just as the scotsman takes a piss out the window because his Toilets broke and the Englishman starts cooking his di...

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