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Ground Floor Jokes

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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.

So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his
knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.

The man o...

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A workman is 5 floors up at a construction site and realizes he forgot his hammer...

He leans over the edge of the building and sees his friend on the ground floor. He shouts down to him "Hey buddy I need my hammer." His friends looks up but motions to his ears that he can't hear him.

The workman, thinking quickly, decides to sign out what he wants. He points to his eye for "...

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The ground floor toilets were out of order. So I had to use the ones on the floor above.

That was some next level shit

I like working in hotels that label the ground floor L for lobby.

If a guest has a complaint, I can tell them to go to L.

I just saw a convict on an elevator heading to the ground floor

He was condescending.

My company just installed an elevator that labels the ground floor as "2" and goes up from there.

It's wrong on so many levels.

Two well dressed men....

Two well dressed men are talking at a rooftop bar about 70 stories from the ground floor. They over hear a guy talking about how he's a hedge fund manager and how much money he makes. One of the well dressed men mentions to his friend how much he hates hedge fund managers. His friend agrees.
The ...

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New company mergers

(I marked it NSFW because of the last one - not sure if it's considered NSFW, so just to be safe...)

For all of you with any money, be aware of these expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations:

1. Hale Business S...

I told the police I just witnessed a man jump from an apartment balcony.

"What floor?" they asked.

"He's on the ground floor," I replied.

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The dying man

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk.

Then I saw her through the window. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor.

She rolled her deep blue eyes at me. I picked them up and rolled them back.

We ki...

My dad's favourite joke

Three men are standing at the top of the Empire State Building.

The first man turns to the other two and says: "I bet you $1000 each that you can't throw your watch off the side, and catch it before it hits the ground."

Both men look at each other, look at their cheap watches, think "t...

What do you call the first level of a coffee factory?

The ground floor.

A Russian doctor complains to his superiors about his work conditions

Ivan later wished he’d got an office on the ground floor.

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A man gets in the hotel elevator

He hears a voice say "going up" and looks around, weirded out that he can't see anyone nearby who would have said that. But when he chooses his floor, the voice says "door closing" and he realizes it was the elevator talking.

So, after his vacation has ended, he gets into the elevator with h...

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A guy went down the stairs from the 20th floor while looking out the window downstair of each floor

Then once he reached the ground floor he hugged the man sitting outside. Then the man said "what the fuck? Do I know you???" Then the guy said "i knew you when you were very little"

I'm jealous of the people who first invested in elevators

They really got in on the ground floor.

I heard a guy was playing with himself while watching construction workers on a job site...

Guess he was getting off on the ground floor.

A guy is sitting at his desk at work when his phone starts ringing.

He answers:

"Hello?"

"Hi, Mr Thomson, it's the builder. There's been a problem with your renovations."

"Oh dear, what's happened?" asks Mr Thomson

"Well, there's good news and bad news." says the builder, "The bad news is that your upstairs bathroom, and the second and t...

A thief

A thief climbs in through a ground floor window one night and starts looking for valuables in the sitting room when suddenly he heard a voice say "Jesus is watching you. " he shows hi flashlight around the room but upon seeing nothing continues his search. A few minutes later he heard the same voice...

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An Irishman, Scotsman and a Englishman all book into a hotel

The Irishmen books into Room 18 Floor 3, Scotsman in Room 18 Floor 2 and the englishman in Room 18 Ground Floor. Once getting their keys the irishman begans to shave out of his window, Just as the scotsman takes a piss out the window because his Toilets broke and the Englishman starts cooking his di...

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