Ghetto Jokes - 34 Hilarious Ghetto Jokes

A woman from the ghetto is in the grocery store with a whole crew of kids...

She yells out, "Billy!" and nine boys come running and line up by the door.

A passer-by laughs to himself and asks, "Did you name all your sons Billy?"

"Yup. Makes calling them for dinner a lot easier."

"What happens when you only need to talk to one of them?"

"Then I ju...

So Tom is at a Ghetto Strip Club

He sees a clearly obese woman dancing on a table, and is amazed. He walk over to her and says "damn those are some really nice legs". "Awe you really think so?" She replied. "Yeah for sure, most tables would have collapsed by now."

What's the only positive from living in the ghetto?

Pregnancy tests

What do you call a white guy who grew up in the ghetto?

Tarzan.

What do you call an Italian ghetto?

A spaghetto!

Ghetto Word Of The Day:

Cologne "Ay, you think you cologne me a dollar or two?"

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What do you call a black man in a ghetto walking around with a boombox on his shoulders?

A stereotype

What did the poor ghetto dweller get for Christmas?

Your bicycle.

Where did the poor Italian man grow up?

The spaghetto

Ghetto camping terror.....

The year was 2009. My son, one of his friends, and I were ghetto camping.

That's when you pitch a tent in your backyard. Or in my case the neighbors yard.

Telling some really horrible ghost stories, when out of no where, an animal started rustling around by the garbage cans.

M...

If Gotham was a ghetto

Will there be Blackman and robbing?

I live in the ghetto

There are gangs and stuff all around. Actually, my neighbor is a Blood. But yesterday, sadly, he turned into a Crip when he fell off the roof.

Go easy on me, I just thought of that joke.

What do you call an elf that lives in the ghetto?

A Hood Nymph

Which article of clothing is the most ghetto?

A Hoodie.

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An EMT was called to a scene in the ghetto

This is actually a true story.

My friend who was an EMT working in South Los Angeles was called to a Domestic Violence scene in Compton. Upon arriving on the scene, a man was sitting on the front porch holding the back of his head where blood was spilling out.

"Are you okay? What happ...

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What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale always starts out "once upon a time"
A ghetto fairytale always starts out "y'all ain't fittin to believe dis shit"

People think that just because I grew up in the ghetto back in the 80s, i should walk around carrying a big ol' boom box on my shoulder.

But I refuse to go with that stereotype.

Why did the stutterer get shot in the ghetto?

He was asking for directions for the "k-k-k-mart."

Damn girl are you a slide in the ghetto?

Because I seriously regret going down on you.

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What's the difference a bus stop in the ghetto and a crab with a boob job?

One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean.

Some people think it’s a good idea to keep the Native people in these rural ghettos...

...but I have my reservations.

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Thoughts from 25-35 year olds

~Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.~

~I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.~

~I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.~

~I hate leaving my ho...

Where do poor Italians live?

In the spaghetto.

what do you call a poor part of a town in Italy

the spaghetto

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Two Jewish Men in 1944 Poland Have a Plan To Kill Hitler

Back in 1944 in the Warsaw ghetto, two Jewish men have planned to try to kill Hitler. They have discovered his travel route, they know the exact time-table, and they know he will pass close by to a nearby government building at exactly 7:00 PM. So, the two men make their plans, knowing that their ...

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An old Jewish man was dying of cancer in his late 80s.

When the time came and he had just few hours left, he was in his bed and asked his wife Marry if she was by his side. She answered “yes darling”.

“Marry do you remember when we were in our teens and the Second World War started, you were by my side.”

“Yes I was” replied Marry

“A...

A long time ago in a ghetto far far away...

...Yoda was walking down the street, wearing a ton of bling. Necklaces, bracelets, gold teeth, the works. A passer-by stops him and says, "Wow, Yoda, that's a ton of bling!"

Yoda replied, "For show, mine is all."

What do you call the gingerbread man's ghetto cousin?

The wonderbread man.

What do you call the bad side of France?

The ba-ghetto

How do you call an area populated by run-down Italian beauty salons?

A spa-ghetto

... I am so ashamed of myself...

What do you call the rough parts of Paris?

La Ba-ghetto

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Another World War II political joke that my grandfather told me.

You guys seem to like my last one so here's another one of my grandad's World War II jokes. Like I said I'll try to retell it like he did.

>There's this rabbi sitting down at a cafe reading a newspaper. One of his congregants notices that he's reading the Daily Stormer, which was the Nazi ...

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Little boy's task

A little black kid from the ghetto has a mother that wants to teach him about responsibility. So she sends him to the corner store and asks him to get her a wheel of cheese. On his way home he is so excited that he's doing what his mother asks him that he starts running home. While running he trips ...

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Sesame Street Bus

A guy gets a job as a city bus driver. After going over his route, his supervisor tells him about the buses advertisement. "This week, it's a sesame street ad. Do not let these ads get damaged as you make your way through the city. We make a lot of money from these companies and we want it to look g...

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