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Colonel Isaev, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War, is invited to a school in Leningrad

He is telling the children about his days as a soldier in the Red Army and his war exploits. When he finishes, he asks the children if they have any questions.

Vovochka raises his hand, and the teacher tenses up.

"When I grow up, I want to be an intelligence officer and protect my Glor...

Boris and Ivan are walking down the street in Leningrad

Boris: “It is beautiful day in Soviet Russia! I am happy to live in glorious motherland!”

Ivan: “Nyet. *We* are happy to live in glorious motherland.”

Boris: “Blyat. My bad.”

Ivan: “Our bad.”

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Jimmy Carter, a president, invited Leonid Brezhnev to the White House for an evening of the usual state activities.

As part of the entertainment, Carter invited Brezhnev to sit down at the official White House piano and play a dirge of the Volga or the Fall of Leningrad. As Brezhnev sat down to play, he could not help but notice a red button at the end of the keyboard.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, he...

In the Soviet Union a listener calls Radio Yerevan with a pressing question.

"Is it true" the listener asks "that in Moscow, at the Red Square, Moskvich cars are being given for free?"

"It is absolutely true" the host replies "just not in Moscow but in Leningrad, not at the Red Square but at the Revolution Square, not cars but bikes, and not given for free but...

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