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Founding Father Jokes

How do we know that the US founding fathers were pro-mexican?

The national anthem doesn't say: "Hey Frank, look over there!"
Instead it says: "Jose can you see."

The USA is proud because their Founding Fathers had strong convictions

Big deal the founders of Australia had convictions too.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The founding fathers were having a discussion about the originations of their last names

"I wonder if someone in my family ran a laundry business" mused George Washington, "that may be the reason"

"I suppose mine is more boring, at some point there must have been a Jeffer son", said Thomas Jefferson.

"I don't like this game", said John Hancock

If the Founding Fathers were alive today, what would they be doing?

clawing at the tops of their coffins and screaming, probably.

What were the founding father's favorite cereals?

Chex and Balance

Why did the Founding Fathers hire accountants from Prague?

They needed a system of Czechs and balances.

What would our founding fathers say if they saw the white house today?

What the hell are Jefferson's kids doing in the white house?

Why couldn't the founding fathers ever get a date?

They were revolting

The founding fathers of Canada are sitting in front of a map filling in names for cities...

Pierre: "I suppose the capital there should have a name, too, me."

Gaton "ought to, uh?"

It’s a little-known fact that, after signing the Declaration of Independence, the Founding Fathers collectively dropped their pants, pointing their posteriors toward England

Thus the motto “E pluribus moon ‘em”

We’ve been watching so much CNN that

My kid thinks Anderson Cooper, Jake Tapper, Wolf Blitzer and John King are the founding fathers.

How do you call an immigrant who commits crimes?

Founding Father.

Origin of Canada

The founding fathers of Canada were trying to figure out what to name the country, but they couldnt decide on a name. They figured to put the letters of the alphabet in a hat and draw them at random.

They pulled the first letter out.
“C eh?”
Then the next one,
“N eh?”
One more,...

There are immigrants who had came to America, stolen jobs and murdered the local population

and we call those immigrants the founding fathers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It makes sense that the Right to Bear Arms is the 2nd amendment

If the 1st amendment is, “I should be able to say whatever the fuck I want”

Then it makes sense that the founding fathers said, “Oh ya, I should probably have a gun too”

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