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Fortune Tellers Jokes

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

My great grandad used to make fabric booths for clairvoyants and fortune tellers..

He was a con-tent creator.

Two fortune tellers meet each other.

One of them says:

"Hello! Your day was fine. How about mine?"

Why can't fortune tellers have children

They have glass balls

I recently began selling faulty jetpacks to fortune tellers.

Prophets are flying through the roof.

What song do fortune tellers hate?

Que Será, Será

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't fortune tellers use contraceptives?

They have crystal balls and can see it coming.

Psychics, clairvoyants and fortune tellers are easy to buy clothes for...

Because they're all mediums

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller...

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller called Sarah who hoped to learn the proper skills of divination by training alongside a renowned fortune teller, Madame Lointain (for, in these times, it was customary for each village to have a fortune teller).


After having studied for...

An Anti-vaxxer Went to a Fortune Teller

She said to her “I want to see where my child is in 10 years.” The fortune teller then looked in her magic ball for a good while. She searched and searched but after some time she looked at the mother and said “What child?”

My next door neighbors are fortune tellers. They told me to turn down my television.

I told them I would find a “happy medium.”

What do you call a community of fortune tellers who work for free?

A non-prophet organization

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