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Forbids Jokes

Why didn't Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star plans?

The Jedi Code forbids attachments.

My religion forbids using condoms....

I'm a Rhythm Methodist

Haven’t seen my Indian girlfriend in almost a month because her dad “forbids it”.

Screw you Soshul Distin Singh!

Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece?

That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan.

Are you aware the the Quran specifically forbids dating Gorillas?

It turns out you're not supposed to have a Haram Bae.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun is sitting on the bus when a hippie comes in and sits next to her...

After a while the hippie asks the nun "hey you, wanna fuck?" But the nun replies "no, God forbids it!" And she get's out on the next stop.
A few minutes later the hippie want's to get out too and right as he want's to leave the bus, the bus driver yells "hey you, hippie, come over here.
I hea...

Anthropologists found a group of people whose religion forbids them from being angry

They're called the Nomads

The ghost of a dead cat walks into a bar

The ghost of a dead cat carrying its severed tail in its mouth walks into a bar at 3 a.m. Only the bartender is there, cleaning up and shutting the place down for the night. The cat puts down the tails and begins to speak. "Pardon me sir, I don't know if you remember me, but I'm the cat that was st...

Star Wars is about the eternal conflict between two opposing forces. One headhunts children across the galaxy, puts them into a religious cult, indoctrinates them, even forbids them from having a relationship, then sends them off to die in the nearest war.

The other is the Sith.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Baptist ministers were eating lunch when one went on and on about young people having sex before marriage. He said, “God forbids it. It is a sin and I didn’t have sex with my wife until our wedding night. How about you?”

The other minister thinks and then says, “I don’t think so, what was her maiden name?”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Transreligious Dinner Party

Six people are planning a dinner party: a Jew, a Christian, a Muslim, a Pagan, a Hindu, and an Atheist. The Atheist suggests pork chops as the main course. The Jew says, “No, we can’t have pork, YHWH strictly forbids the consumption of pork.”

The Christian says in response, “No He doesn’t! Je...

A Hindu, a Muslim, and a lawyer are traveling together.

They reach a farmhouse and ask to spend the night. The farmer tells them that he only has room for two and one will have to sleep in the barn.

The Hindu volunteers, but a short while later there's a knock at the door. "I can't sleep there. There is a cow, and a cow is a sacred animal. My reli...

A priest and a rabbi are having lunch

They have been friends for years, talking about their lives and their faith over lunch for as long as they can remember.

One day the priest says, "My friend, I must ask a difficult question, and if you don't answer, I'll understand. But I am too curious. Your faith prohibits you from eating...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Patient: Doctor please kiss me!

Doctor: I am sorry, I can’t! My code of ethics forbids me to kissing my patients. Honestly speaking we should not be having sex either.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hippie was travelling in through the Middle East when his passport and wallet are stolen, leaving him stranded with only the shirt on his back and his trusty guitar.

After a couple of days roughing it on the streets, he decides to play his guitar and busk for money.

He starts strumming out a tune and a small crowd gathers round. As he continues, one of the men from the crowd starts dancing and jiving infront of him.

The hippie finishes his song and...

A priest and a rabbi are friends . . .

And the priest is always talking to the rabbi about how great ham sandwiches are, and how he's totally missing out by not being able to eat them. Every time they have lunch together, he orders a ham sandwich, and spends the entire meal raving about how salty and savory and delicious it is. Any time...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hippie and the nun

One day, a hippie enters a bus and sits down beside a nun. He asks her if they want to have sex but she declines saying: "Jesus is my master and he forbids me to have sex with you."
The next day, the hippie asks her again but she refuses again. Before he leaves the bus, the busdriver holds him ba...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jewish Girl And A Greek Boy Fall In Love

When the Jewish girl tells her father that she has fallen in love with a Greek boy and wants to marry him, he hits the ceiling. He forbids it, on pain of disownment. The girl goes ahead and marries the boy, anyway. The old man does not even go to the wedding and stops talking to her altogether....

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