A d‌‌og s‌‌ees a‌‌ "‌‌Now h‌‌iring" p‌‌oster o‌‌utside o‌‌f a‌‌ c‌‌omputer s‌‌tore.

T‌‌he p‌‌oster r‌‌eads: "Must b‌‌e a‌‌ble t‌‌o t‌‌ype. M‌‌ust b‌‌e a‌‌ble t‌‌o p‌‌rogram. A‌‌nd m‌‌ust b‌‌e b‌‌ilingual. W‌‌e a‌‌re a‌‌n e‌‌qual o‌‌pportunity e‌‌mployer."

The d‌‌og t‌‌akes t‌‌he p‌‌oster i‌‌n h‌‌is m‌‌outh, a‌‌nd w‌‌alks i‌‌n. T‌‌he m‌‌anager s‌‌pots t‌‌he d‌‌og, a‌‌nd d‌‌ec...

2 Mexican gang members...

Carlos and Pepe; are lost in the desert after a drug deal gone wrong...

After days wandering aimlessly, Pepe finds a tree covered in pork. Bacon of all kinds and thicknesses, gammon, sausages and pulled pork hanging in place of leaves.

Not wanting to waste energy on what could potentia...

The Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure sme...

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One from the pub tonight.... And Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Paddy Irishman are on a roofing job together....

And the Englishman goes: "Fuck me, my wife keeps making me these roast chicken sandwiches for lunch. I swear lads, if I get this shite again tomorrow, I'm jumping off this fucking roof!"

The Scotsman goes: "Fouck meh, laddiehs, my foucking wife keeps mehking me thes roost beef sandwheches. I...

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The Devon Farmer

A Devon farmer is out walking his land one evening and sees a smartly dressed man crouching down by a stream, about to take a drink.

"ERE, ee dun wanna be doin at - tis full o arse piss and cow shite" says the farmer in his broad west country accent.

"I'm terribly sorry but I've just m...

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In a far away land over the seas, there lives a tribe of 2 foot tall pygmies who live in 3 foot tall grass...

... called the Fug-ow-ees. They were named by an explorer who stumbled upon them one day in his travels and heard them say something along the lines of "we're the Fug-ow-ee."

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