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Fitbit Jokes

I mistakenly ordered a Fapbit instead of a Fitbit on Amazon...

...But it's okay, I don't have any problem getting to 10,000 every day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought a fitbit...

I haven't went running yet, but I jerked off for six miles today.

A blonde gets a Fitbit for Christmas

Her friend tells her to always try to get to 10,000 steps a day to lose weight.

One night it's 11.30pm and her boyfriend hears footsteps downstairs. He goes down to find her walking around the living room backwards.

"What ARE you doing?" he asks.

"Melanie told me to do 10,000 s...

Google just bought Fitbit

Now they can track your steps online as well as offline

Fitbit has recalled its Ionic smart watch, after finding out the battery can dangerously overheat

They admitted, this isn't what you're after when you're told to feel the burn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Fitbit watch said I ran 15 miles last night...

I think it’s broken. I was just watching porn.

What's the difference between my Fitbit and my girlfriend?

My Fitbit never gets disappointed in me after it says "I'm almost there!" and then i come up short

I found a way to increase the number of steps on my Fitbit

I wore it on the right hand

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to my Fitbit

I've masturbated 4 miles today

If you have Parkinson's and wear a FitBit

You're in good shape!

What do you call a vampire wearing a fitbit?

Count Steps

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't have enough bandwidth to connect to PornHub

Now my Fitbit will think I'm lazy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Does masterbation count as cheating?

When using a fitbit?

My friend thought I was lazy because I could count on one hand how much I moved today...

They didn't know I was wearing a FitBit

My wife woke me up all excited this morning...

She said honey look at all the pounds I've lost. I told her that she was looking at our retirement account not her fitbit.

Things that didn't exist the last time England were in the semis

iPhone

Facebook

Google

Amazon

Android

Twitter

Instagram

iPod

Yahoo

YouTube

Snapchat

Spotify

Tesla

Skype

Uber

Airbnb

Bitcoin

Fitbit

Emojis

iPad

and
.

....

I ate so much at Thanksgiving,

I had to loosen my Fitbit.

(Credit to my future mother-in-law for this suprise zinger)

We hired a teenage girl at my hardware store

I was showing her around the aisles when I picked up something off the shelf and pointed it at my self and made a beeping sound.

I said, "This is a stud-finder" and laughed.

She pulled up her sleeve, showed me her FitBit and made a beeping sound. She said, "This is a pedo-meter."

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