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Mitosis Jokes

I told a mitosis joke in school once

I thought it was hilarious, but the class was divided.

What's Kim Jong Un's favorite step of mitosis?

Nuclear division.

Did you hear about the cells that got sent off to war after mitosis?

It’s hard to believe they got diploid.

What is mitosis?

It's what you say when your sister steps on your foot.

My doctor told me I needed to stop drinking because I had mitosis of the liver.

I looked at him aghast and asked if he meant cirrhosis of the liver? He said no, that I drink so much my liver is trying to split on me.

What's the opposite of mitosis?

Your finger bro!

Mitosis

Are on the ends of my feetsis

[Bad joke] The other day my sister asked me what the difference between cellular division and a sock is

To which I replied 'Nothing, they both involve mitosis'

A little bacteria was celebrating his birthday...

and all of his microbial friends got together to bake him a cake.

He was so excited upon seeing the cake that he underwent mitosis and split in two.

The microbial friends all worried that now there werent enough cakes, and that perhaps they should have planned better...

But actu...

So We were learning about cell division in biology class today.

I ended up stubbing my toe somehow and i had to go home because it hurt so bad.
When my sister asked what hurt, i said “mitosis.”

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are observing a building...

A very heavy-set man is seen going in.

A while later two very skinny men exit.

The physicist says "To within experimental error, the conservation of mass has been demonstrated."

The biologist says "reproduction by mitosis must have taken place."

The mathematician scratche...

My sister when through a phase where she spontaneously split down the middle making two identical copies. Now they are...

My one Sis and Mitosis.

My biology teacher stubbed his toe today and screamed..

Mitosis

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do marketers in the human body employ meiosis over mitosis when making their advertisements

Because sex cells!

I have a sister, and I love genetics.

So whenever she steps on my toe accidentally, I say “Ow, you stepped on mitosis!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the cell say when another cell stepped on his feet?

"Ouch! Mitosis!"

I'm so sorry you read this corny ass joke.

Homework.

A girl is doing her homework and her little brother walks in. She asks him for help with a question and he refuses. Angrily she says "Just tell me what the division of two cells is and I won't hurt you". He still won't tell her so she stamps on his foot. "Tell me!" she yells "ouch! mitosis!."

What did Cinderella say while reading Biology?

I hate Mitosis

What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot?

Mitosis!

Sorry if it’s been posted before but my little cousin just told me this and I died laughing

My mom's daughter said it looked like my foot was making a copy of itself

I told her that's mitosis

Why are Biologists so obsessed with their own feet?

It's always Mitosis, Mitos-that

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the cell brother say to his cell sister when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Help creating a biology joke to end my exam .

So, I'm sitting here, needing to write one more essay question for the exam I am giving shortly and have decided that I don't want it to be a serious question. It's only worth a couple of points and I don't mind giving students a couple of freebies. Exam is covering Mitosis/Meiosis/Mendelian genetic...

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