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First Team Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Germany, Russia and Poland are competing in a vault breaking competition...

The rules of the competition are simple. There is a vault in the middle of a room. The light in the room is shut off for 3 seconds. In those 3 seconds the team can do whatever they want to the vault to try and get in. If the team manages to break into the vault before the light comes back on they ge...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Eddie the Head

Eddie the Head was sad because his friends were playing football (soccer to our US friends) in the park and he could see them from his bedroom window. Eddie asked if he could join in. "Of course you can," they said. "You can be the ball!"

That night, bruised and bloody, Eddie lay in bed. "I h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the mid-80s, there were 2 rich men who were constantly arguing over the purpose of the head on a man's penis.

One man insisted that it was for the pleasure of the man, and the other insisted that it was for the pleasure of the woman. Finally, they decided that they would fund research teams to settle the issue. The first team, from France, came back after 6 months and $600,000. the results of the study pro...

A daughter takes her new boyfriend home to meet her parents

Her dad asks, "so, what do you do?"

The boyfriend says, "Im training in Madrid as a goalie. I'm hoping to work my way into the first team next season!"

The dad winks at his daughter, nudges her on the arm and says, "watch out for this one, he's gonna be a real keeper"

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