First Job Jokes

13 years of loyal service to the company, down the drain.

There wasn't much hands-on experience at his school.

I mowed the town cemetery.

I was hired and fired on the same day.

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources person asked a young applicant fresh out of business school, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The applicant answered, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer sai... read more

The other employees where great characters...

But I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

During the job interview, my boss said I spend to much time thinking before I answered the questions, so they have doubts with my sincerity. Nevertheless, he said he saw my potential and picked me.

The board was going to meet today to discuss about an impending merger. My boss asked me to co... read more

It was pretty good, until I got fired for drinking on the job

I sold "no soliciting" signs.

...during orientation the manager told me about some of the regulars including Doctor John. He said Doctor John would come in every Thursday and order the same thing, 2 maple daiquiri's. It was pretty simple to make, some white rum, lime juice and maple syrup.

So my first Thursday shift arri... read more

I used to stand in the river, mopping the fish's head, and just comfortingly saying, "Deep breath, now push, push again, you're almost there..."

Not bad looking sheep either...

A young man was starting his first job as a bellhop. Keen to make a good impression he asked the supervisor for any tips. Be polite and address the customer by their name was the response. How do I know their names? the boy asked. Check the name tag on their luggage replied the supervisor.
<... read more

The boss takes her up to the office that overlooks the assembly line and tells her what her job is. Then he sends her down. About an hour later the line leader comes up to the office and says, “Boss you gotta get this new girl off my line. She’s killing production.”
The boss looks down out of his... read more

I guess you can't make out with customers.
Babysitting was boring anyway.

Aquathermic treatment of ceramics aluminum and steel in a controlled environment.

Or to put it in lamer's terms: washing dishes while his boss is watching.

I’m beginning to suspect they chose someone else.

Did you know Nancy Pelosi use to be a teacher. She had students take their tests blindfolded. When asked why, she would say" We have to pass the test before we can find out what's in it!"

The pay was not much but I collected a lot of tips.

...whatever it took to keep the customers cummin'.