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The nun and the driver

One night, an Uber driver picked up a nun. While he was driving, the driver started to laugh insanely. "Why are you laughing?" asked the Nun "Oh it's nothing." said the Uber driver "No really" said the Nun, "I won't mind" So the driver told her, "Well, it's really silly but I've always had this fant...

Granddad died the other week, only he was wearing a blue suit when his wishes were to buried in a black suit

Only problem was we don't have enough money to afford a new suit after the funeral costs.


The undertaker tells us not to worry and to come back in a week to finalise the funeral details.


We come back the next week and there's granddad in a lovely new black suit, i ask "how ...

Juan Joke (Really Long)

There's a man named Juan. He's a good man, he doesn't beat his wife, doesn't beat his kids, doesn't beat the armadillo in his yard, he's kind to his neighbours and he takes care of his mother. He goes to work one day and his boss says, "Juan, I know that you're a good man, you don't beat your wife,...

I got chatting to a bird down the pub last night.

She said, "So what do you work as?"

"It's a very important job," I said. "I have to finalise deals in the transfer window."

"Wow, a football agent?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "I work in the drive thru at McDonald's."

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