Two FBI agents who knew sensitive classified info went to a conference in Russia...
Turns out, the conference was really long and *really* boring; almost to the point the agents got mad, so when it was over, they decided to go to a nearby nightclub for some drinks and fun.
They had just ordered their drinks and started drinking up when two incredibly gorgeous Russian women c...
An arrogant, wealthy man passed away one day
In his will, he entrusted $50,000 in cash to each of his closest advisers: his accountant, his doctor, and his lawyer. In his will, he instructed that each of them was to put all of the money into an envelope and place it into his coffin at his funeral, so he could have his money even after death....
A time traveler comes back from the year 2045
I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...
A king was going on a conquest on a faraway land
He was going to be leaving his young wife in their castle for who knows how long. He thought to himself: "I don't know how long i will be away but i need to make sure no one will have intercourse with my wife while i am away".
So he put a chastity belt on his wife & kept the key. He begg...
A man hears a knock at his door, and is surprised to see
a polar bear standing before him.
"Hi," says the white bear, "I'm the bear of good news. A distant relative of yours passed away a while ago, but it turns out he entrusted a large fortune to you in his will."
"Great," says the man. "Thanks for the good news."
Later, the man hear...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
It’s parade day in Russia and 3 military thieves are locked in a jail cell awaiting their punishment.
All the other males in the army are either partaking in the parade or out celebrating their national pride and getting drunk on vodka so they have cleverly entrusted their female counterparts to continue running things whilst they are gone.
A female Lieutenant asks her superior, “How are we t...
Life Rules For My Son
1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.
3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.
4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially i...
So there’s this old, old zookeeper who is nearing retirement.
In fact, she’s so old that she has been employed at the zoo since it first opened. Since she’s been there so long, the zoo has entrusted her with taking care of the two most valuable exhibits in the zoo.
First, she is responsible for feeding an ancient lion. This lion is actually so old that...
I have a good friend who I call Mitch.
I entrusted him with taking care of my bunny while I was on vacation.
However when I got back, he posted on Facebook that he was at a party.
So I drove there as fast as I could, meanwhile I was thinking to myself, 'Mitch better have my bunny.'