UPJOKE
caseinlivealivelive lifeanimatehappynessbreathejoie de vivreeat welllifegluten-freebioticimmortalitylivelihoodlifespan

Enjoy Life Jokes

Why are there no psychics who enjoy life

Happy mediums don't exist

When I was about 9 years old, my father forced me to go with him to the funeral of a friend of his, that I didn't know.

When we got there, I stayed in a corner, waiting for time to pass by. Then a man approached me and said, "Enjoy life boy, be happy because time flies. Look at me now.... I didn't enjoy it." He then passed his hand over my head and left.

My father, before leaving, forced me to say goodbye to ...

I got enough money to retire and enjoy life without ever working again..

.. if I die within the next month.

This guy shows up at a farm and says he knows how to make animals speak

The farmer says, "That's ridiculous."

So the guy walks up to the farmer's cow and says "Moo moo moo."

The cow replies in English, "Oh, thank you for asking. He generally treats me very well. He milks me promptly at 5:30am every morning. If I had one suggestion, I wish he'd change the w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey, that he entered it in the race again and it won again.


The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.


The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A golfer looses one of his arms and is depressed.

He can no longer play golf and feels he has nothing to live for, so he decides to end it all.
He goes to the top of a building and is ready to jump when he sees a man with no arms bouncing around happily on the sidewalk below him.
Wondering how someone with one less arm than him could possibly...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Man who could only Drink Milk

I know an old man who had lived a life full of adventure, but his health started to catch up with him. He'd run the Boston Marathon, was an avid surfer, and climbed Everest, but he'd started to have abdominal pains around his 85th birthday and went to see a doctor. Sadly, he ultimately was diagnosed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jungle Bunny

There's a rabbit walking through the jungle, and he comes upon a monkey and the monkey's rolling a joint.
The rabbit says, "Hey, monkey, I love you, man, don't smoke that stuff. Enjoy life with me and come through the woods."
So the monkey follows. They're walking through the woods and they se...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man lost his arm...

A man lost his arm in a terrible accident. After he recovered, he realized that he just couldn't do the things he could do before and he became depressed. He decided to end his life, so he went up to the top of a building to jump. He was standing on the edge and looked down only to see a man with no...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.