this one comes from the end of a drew carey special back in the 90's: there's an old man & an old woman in a nursing home...

old man says, 'bet you can't guess how old i am!'

she says, 'yeah? unzip your fly!' he does; she reaches in a feels around for a bit, then says: 'you're 83!'

he says, 'that's amazing! how'd you know that?'

she says, 'you told me yesterday.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting on the couch watching TV...

When he hears a little knock on the door. He gets up, goes to the door, opens it, but there isn't anyone there. A little iritated, he closes the door and sits back down on the couch.

A few seconds later, theres another little knock at the door. The man jumps up and rushes to the door, fling...

A man wins a chance to appear on a game show

A man won a chance to appear on a mystery game show. The chances were jeopardy, family feud, lingo, and the price is right. His wife a beautiful Spanish lady, the love of his life, told him that if he lost the game show she would divorce him because she couldn't handle the shame. So, he auditioned f...

My go-to accounting joke

(Acknowledgement: This joke came from the Drew Carey show. I don't remember specifically which episode. I don't even know why I was watching it.)

The owners of a micro-brewery are sitting around a table having their monthly board meeting.

The accountant stands up and says "So, let's ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A kid walking along the road finds a welding mask...

He's walking along playing with the mask when a stranger stops and asks if he needs a ride. The kid is a ways from the part of town he's headed to so he accepts. After a bit the guy says "Hey kid, do you know what frottage is?" The kid says "Nope." The guy continues "How about voyeurism?" The k...

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