UPJOKE
bankcounterfeitfront lineidentity theftconfidence trickteller systemonline banking

A bank teller decides to leave his job to go back to college for an education in chemistry.

Turns out he had a compound interest.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Asian Man Walks Up to A Bank Teller To Exchange Yen for Dollars....

The teller gives him $180.

The Asian man complains: "But yestaday, I get $200. Why less today?"

The teller shrugs and replies: "Fluctuations"

Livid, the Asian man yells "Well, fuck you Americans too!"

What happened when the Bank teller went crazy?

All I got was non cents.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Girl And Construction Workers

Here's a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers. This will make you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of your time...

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day, a construction cr...

Bank Teller: "Sir, your account is overdrawn."

Me: "So are your eyebrows, but you made it work, didn't you?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What happened to the bank teller that masterbated in the vault?

He came into a lot of money

I'm a bank teller and the other day an old lady came in and asked me to help check her balance

So I pushed her over.

Why did the bank teller change careers?

...lost too much interest...

Sign above bank teller’s station: “To err is human,

to forgive is not bank policy.”

Why did the medieval bank teller get fired?

He gave them no quarter

The FBI agent asked the bank teller after multiple robberies by the same guy

“Did you notice anything special about the man?"
"Yes, he seemed better dressed each time!"

I noticed a bank teller having trouble counting coins

so i bumped into his desk and knocked some cents into him.

What do you call a really fat bank teller?

A four-chin teller.

Due to lack of protective measures during the pandemic, retail cashiers and bank tellers are refusing to go to work

It's a counter strike

An old lady went to a bank...

An old lady went to a bank intending to withdraw money...

The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.”

The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”

The old lady then asked, “Why?”
The tell...

I got some bad news from a fortune teller today.

"Six dollars," she said, "and please, it's bank teller."

A rasta man goes to the bank with a 25 kg bag of marijuana...

And hands it over to the bank teller.

Confused, the bank teller asks, "What's this for?"

The rasta replies, "Me here to open a joint account."

A frog walks into a bank

A frog wearing a business suit walks into a bank and goes to stand in line to wait for a teller.

When it is his turn, he approaches the bank teller, whose name is Patricia Whack (don't laugh), and says "Hello, Miss, my name is Kermit Jagger, and I would like to take out a loan."

Miss W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bank and approaches the counter.

He yells "This is a fuck-up!"

Confused the bank teller asks "Don't you mean stick-up?"

The man scuffs his shoes on the carpet and says "No, I've left my gun at home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frog walks into a bank...

And is greeted by Patricia Wack, the bank teller. He hops onto the counter, and asks to open a line of credit with their bank, requesting 150 thousand dollars.

Taken aback, Ms. Wack says "Well....uh...do you have collateral?" and very slowly and calmly, the frog pulls out a small porcelain p...

The robber waved a gun and warned the bank teller: "Fill up this bag with cash or else you're geography!"

"You mean history?" "Don't change the subject!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How old am I

One day a 55 year old woman decides to get plastic surgery. Everything goes great and she looks amazing. So one day she goes to the bank and asks the teller "How old do you think I am?"
The bank teller says " I don't know, about 32?"
The woman laughs and say "Nope I'm 55"
Feeling really goo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A japanese guy gets off the plane to New York

He needs American money so he goes to the bank but doesnt know much english. He goes to the teller and says "me, change" and hands over 10,000yen. The bank teller understands and takes it and hands over $100

The next day, the japanese guy does the same thing and gives 10,000yen to the bank t...

Good old #162, the Frog Joke

Patricia Whack, a bank teller, was having an unusual day: a frog had appeared in front of her teller and asked in perfectly elocuted English, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to obtain some credits from your establishment, on consideration of this blue marble elephant as collateral."

Ms. Whack knew immed...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes into a bank...

...and proceeds to walk up to the nearest bank teller and pulls out a gun:

"Make one wrong move and you're geography!"

"Don't you mean history?" asks the teller

"Don't change the subject!"

After years of training, I ran my first 5K alone!!

As a bank teller, it feels nice.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman in line at a bank...

A woman is standing in a long line waiting for a bank teller. All of a sudden a masked man bursts into the bank waving a gun around. He demands all the cash from the bank tellers' drawers, the turns around and points the gun at the woman in line. He runs up to her, reached in his pocket and pulls ou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frog walks into a bank

Heard this one on Norm MacDonald's show/podcast so he gets the credit. It's better delivered in live, but here it is:

A frog walks into a bank to get a loan. He walks over to the bank teller--her name's Whack (nametag says Whack).
Frog: "Yes, I'd like to get a loan."

Teller: "A loan...

Asian guy goes into bank to check on his million dollars!!!

Asian: why do I only have 999 900 dollars instead of 1 million dollars

Bank teller: Fluctuations

Asian: Fluck you too.

So this frog goes into this Bank

He walks up to the counter and says "I'd like to take out a loan". The bank teller, who's name is Patty, argues with him, saying; "I cant authorize that, you're a frog, you don't have any collateral we can claim against you in the event of you not paying us back". The frog says; "look Patty, my dad ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fluctuations..

So a Japanese woman goes to a bank to exchange some yen for US dollars. She hands over 1000 yen and the bank teller returns $10.

The next week, she does the same, only this time the teller returns $9.50.

The woman, puzzled, says, "but last week, you gave me $10 for 1000 yen..?"

...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.