UPJOKE
distasteantipathydisgustdisdaindisapprovalaversionhatedetestloatheresentresentmenthatredambivalenceanimositydespise

What did the lady that dislikes flowers and children say?

I don’t like orchids or kids
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Don't date anyone who dislikes the Muppets...

Clearly, they aren't a fan of Kermitment
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What does Bill Gates say when he dislikes something?

Bill Hates.
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What do you call a person who dislikes people who don’t have toes?

Lack toes intolerant.
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My friend told me he really dislikes "All Star" by Smashmouth.

I said: "Hey now..."
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What’s the difference between somebody who doesn’t drink milk and somebody who dislikes amputees?

One is lactose intolerant, the other is lack toes intolerant
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What's the only type of music that the balloon dislikes?

Pop.
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My Name ist short

An employee from a different Branche visits.

Coworker: "you should know that the Boss Here is called featherstonehaugh. He dislikes being mispronounced so try to remember it. My own Name is 'short'."

Employee: "my name is short too, it's 'Long'."
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler hires a new cook

Before taking up the job he is told there are 2 main requirements - Making good healthy food for the dictator and never interfering in his policies.

On his first day he finds out about all of Hitler's preferences, likes and dislikes. With all of that in mind he makes everything as expected e...

One wish

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon an old lamp. Giving it a rub a genie appears and says to him, "I will grant you one wish, what will it be?"

The man thinks then says "Well, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I get sea sick and I'm too afraid to fly over all that wat...
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Ted decided to go start a youtube channel

This youtube channel was solely for making diss tracks about famous youtubers. Unfortunately, his first one was not successful, it was incredibly bad, and so he got thousands of dislikes. Undiscouraged, Ted made a few more diss tracks and uploaded them, only to get hate messages and death threats so...
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